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Mr. Right Not Mr. Right Now

When I look around I see all of my friends in realtionship with people that were there and single but who might not be the one...I'm so scared of marrying someone who is Mr. right now not mr. right!

loverhoney loverhoney 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 11, 2009

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loverhoney, I think you are actually the lucky one in the bunch. Being married is a chore. Being married to the wrong person is like a prizon sentence.<br />
If I had it to do all over again, I would be more methodical about my relationship. What I mean is, I would write down a list of all my quirks, habits, behaviors, significant beliefs, strong opinions, pet peaves and such. The I would list all my demands/expectations of an ideal partner: such as maturity level; ability to argue or discuss like a mature adult; ablility to compromise; religious practices (not lipservice); how she handles stress; how she makes difficult decisions; and her purchasing habits. Then I would examine my partner/candidate like an informal job interview, to make sure I know if this person is a good fit to match my personality and expectations. Also I would seriously consider a prenuptual agreement. Also I would be more open and honest about what I will do if she does not behave consistent with what she has portrayed. <br />
Most women my wife hangs with have a perverted view of marriage. Once they get married, they change alot: they virtually stop having sex, they start getting bossy; they make demands; they get all emotional and lose rational thought; they become very possessive; they alienate husbands family; they can dish out insults about my friends & family but go bizerk if I question her family or friends. It is as if they flipped a switch and went from a dating girl role to the role of their mother figure (which is a learning curve). Her mother has certain behaviors that evolved for a reason in that relationship, i.e. husband was a carreer man not a family man; so the wife was dealing with a negligent spouse; and so she harbors alot of resentment against men. Well he is not me so don't treat me like i am the villan.<br />
I know i am rambling a bit, but hope this makes sense.<br />
I guess my point is that now i realize there is no Mr. or Mrs. Right! And getting married is not a fantasy world; it is moreless a partnership agreement. Therefor, instead of wearing the rose colored glasses, just look at it in real life color and know that what you are wanting is a partnership. Then seek out that kind of person that you would want as a partner. Don't let all the hype and stereotypes cloud your mind with emotional dreams.

Don't marry out of desperation as I believe nothing good comes quickly.<br />
I almost married twice but in retrospect am glad I didn't get the girl's completion since I' d probably be paying two alimonys.<br />
If any potential soulmates for me read this, I have MY half of our financial fortune - do you have yours? "Let us be lovers, we'll marry our fortunes together...I've got some real estate here in my bag...so we bought a pack of cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner's Pies...and walked off to look for America" - Simon & Garfunkle.

I know people that have married Mr Right Now and it ended in disaster, then there are others I know who married who they thought was Mr Right, however he certainly turned into Mr Wrong.<br />
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I believe there is someone for everyone, we just have to let ourselves believe it, and know the person for us will not be perfect but their imperfections will fit with us (if that makes any sense).<br />
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As my nana used to tell me ... we love others because of their imperfections not despite them<br />
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:)