So Lonely...

Some parts of my life are full of joy and happiness, but it seems at though this happiness is on and off lately, and it is causing depression in me. I just started university (almost finishing my first year), and I live in residence there. I hate the school, and I hate living here....I have no friends here, and the school is so big you seem to get lost in it. I can't deal with change well, and moving to this school and leaving my best friend  (3 hours away), and my boyfriend (5 hours away) is the hardest thing that has ever happened to me, not to mention me leaving my family, the horse i loved riding, and my cat that i love.

I just feel very lonely and isolated. There is nothing to do at this school, and I just sit in my room all alone day in and out. I make an effort to try and see people, but they are always too busy to see me.  I try and see my boyfriend every 2 weeks (bussing up to where his school is), and seeing him is the only thing that makes me happy beyond belief....but he has so many friends (most of which are girls-which leads to my worrying -but its getting better) and he is constantly busy and never really has time to talk to me, even though I know he tries really hard.

I am trying to apply to the education department at my school, and it has been frustrating lately. I am in a degree I hate!!! (English). I don't understand anything in that class, but I have to take it in order to get into the education program (which is my dream)....       It just seems as though everything is hard to reach.

I just bought a car (which is at my house and i cannot drive until summer).....but even buying the car has not kept me happy....yes it is a nice materialistic object that i wish i could be driving right now (but cant because im am in residence), but even having it does not keep me smiling.

I don't know what to do to keep track of my emotions, I have tried everything. I think I just need friends and to get out more, but as much as i try, that is not happening.

I am lonely, frustrated, sad, and depressed.......can anyone help me stop this madness?

jaime31 jaime31
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 8, 2010

Hi, <br />
<br />
I have experienced something similar; but you know after all those experience now I can tell you that you´re not happy because you´re stick to your old life; you need to let the past in the past. You´re friend will be always you´re friends, you´re boyfriend if he really love he will wait for you. But meanwhile, you need to let them free, stop thinking what are they doing, stop thinking what would you do if you were with them, and just try to get involved in your new environment, be curious, discovered new people, new experiences. Live every second of your life, enjoy it. When I learned to do that my life change and my depression go away from me. <br />
<br />
It´s not easy, but I´m sure that you can do it. You just need to want to be happy in the place that you´re right now, with the people around you even though they are not the people you love the most, but those people are also worthy.<br />
<br />
So I wish you the best. and if anytime you want to talk you can write me.