Tired

I'm only 18, yet, I've been "engaged" a few times, of course they were all long distance...except for one, but he proposed long distance and I only spent one week in person with him. Everytime I fall for someone I get hurt, I've only ever dated a few people in person, In fact, the last two dates I had, One of them I talked online to him for about a month before we decided to get together and go watch Avatar, ( I LOVE THAT MOVIE!) well, before that, we had constantly flirted and talked, he even talked to me while he was at work, we were completely compatible, we knew exactly what the other felt and understood each other perfectly..well during the date he seemed completely aloof...and he dropped me off home afterwards, and the only physical contact was just a goodbye hug, not even a kiss or anything, welll I was suspicious about that, and I was right, the very next morning he msged me and told me he was "physically unattracted to me" but that I was a very intelligent person....great, and the second one was pretty much the same, except he came to my house and spent a few good hours here with me..we did nothing at all lol, just sat and stared at each other and then laughed because of it..but after that he actually has not talked to me at all! He doesn't get on messenger anymore or anything, even though I see him online on other sites. Is it so hard to want someone that likes me for who I am? No matter what I look like? Everyone tells me that there's someone out there for me, yeah..like I really believe that? :( Even if there is someone out there, there's no way I'm going to be able to find em. I'm stuck at home all the time on this computer, I have no way out. No way to meet people other than online. Not to mention the fact that I live in a very small rural town in Mississippi. And every one knows me in a bad light :( and I didn't even do anything to derserve it, I just have different views than these small minded people.

MoonRei MoonRei
18-21, F
4 Responses Mar 4, 2010

give love time and distance , fall in love fast but be thick skinned for the first few months . relax and close your eyes when u are sure of him , if it fails dump him look for a new guy .
be practical and emotional both .

how r u now sweety?? its been 2 years now when u post dis story... did u found what u dream of? forgive my bad eng...hahha

try meeting people in person instead of online - I find that it is very tough online because you get to know a person's mind, but then miss one important step - attraction. If it is not there, then whatever else you had seems to get thrown away. <br />
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It doesn't have to mean superficial attraction - but it is something that we need to have .... you can't force it.<br />
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Don't worry about a small town - sounds like you have a big town attitude and will one day leave the small town. No hurry for now, though I know it must drive your crazy. Hold off getting engaged for a while - learn to love you - feel great about yourself and damn what others think.

I find it hard both ways because of my mental health issues and learning disabilities.

i know what u mean but tell u what i met my gf online too 2 years ago and i decided to date her without even knowing how she look like befor even sending apic then she turned out to be agood looking or atleast normale i mean i don't care for what she look like as long as she ain't abad looking then she's allright that's acheck let's move on 2 the next thing i think somebody might be the same and u both can get along