Friends Were Not Real Enough

Its my fault really. I act happy and say jokes and teases, thats how they see me but they dont know the real me. I should have opened up about stuff more. They think they are my real friends but they dont know enough about me to be real enough. The people I haven opened up to I feel a lot more comfortable around. I think I'm just a bit shy telling people the real me. I think its time I let go of this immature funny self and just start being me.

I'm going to tell them whats really going on with me. If they cant handle it, screw them. Its frustrating though, was a friends stag night yesterday. I wasnt in the right frame of mind to go because of whats been happening in my life..but they dont know anything about that. I was only going to go to the pub then go straight home. Was forced to go the club after that... i was rubbish. I didnt contribute to shi*. I feel bad, it was his stag night, its just really bad timing. I'll have to send him a sorry msg for bailing without saying bye.

BronzeEspada BronzeEspada
31-35, M
1 Response May 20, 2012

Sometimes, we use humor & joke around to cover up pain inside us. I do it a lot. But if laughing & making others laugh makes us feel good, then it's o.k. to be that way sometimes. There's nothing wrong with being a little immature or joking around with people, but we do have to face our problems inside too. Having real friends to help us through things does help I think. Maybe 1 or 2 of your buddies you hang out with would be able to help if you let them in on some of your issues. And if not, then keep trying...there are people who do & will like the real you out there ( the serious you & the hilarious you) :)