Between Individual and Universal

It's like that's all that matters to me. The truth in each thing. If something is false it breaks the right equation, with consequence to have  a wrong value, Or nor more value, and to be just not what you should be, and to see what is what someone else sees for you. I know some people can live false things, live with fake people, and that doesn't disturb them, if they can go out in night box every week-ends, and have nice clothes. But it does bother me a lot. I have some clues why, but not completely, and I feel so complex suddenly.


I'm looking for the truth for personal things, what motivated me in the beginnig, but in the end, it's the truth itself I want, naked and brutal. Without that, I can't be, and I can't act properly.


And if this might be universal, to tell them before I die.


Updated June, 10, 2008: I realized that I don't want the truth for the truth, but for it has a real, concrete impact, improve something. That's also that most of the time I search for nothing. Or can't search until I find an answer, which had wronged the real purpose of my twisted mind. The answer is in the question.


Updated, August, 4: Still looking. I have pieces of the puzzle, like lost a little here and there, but never touching each others. Well maybe one or two can link now. It's difficult not to judge, and maybe if I wasn't so angry I could see what it shadows better. I'm talking about my father here. Why do I still think about that? I mean the others just tell me, but who the hell are they?

I'm more looking for answers to be honest, as I'm sure of my father's name now at 90% (still 10% for the other, hey, no evidence of it). It's like walking into the night through the forest. I still have things to hear, maybe I still have things to say.

deleted deleted
1 Response May 6, 2008

Bless you on your journey for truth.