I thought I was the only one going through this too.  My husband and I will be married 19 years Nov.2.   Unfortunately we were good friends in the beginning and should have stayed friends.  I hung onto him because I was having severe panic and anxiety attacks which led to over six years of home bound agoraphobia.  I'm 90% over that, but now I have fibromyalgia, dercum's disease, and a host of other illnesses that keep me on disability.  To top it off my parents are now in memory care and I'm their sole caregiver.  For lack of better word, I'm stuck.  I can't afford to live on my own ~ disability doesn't go very far.  And I have to be in a stable situation to continue caring for my parents.  I've tried to make things work between my husband and myself, but it seems I've been the only one trying.  When we were married, he already had two children, so decided he didn't want anymore.  He basically took my choice away from me.  I'm one of those people who believes a child should have both parents, and did not want to "just get pregnant" when it was so obvious it wasn't something he wanted.   I have met a couple men online and then in person who I thought were the perfect partners, and my "Knights in shining armor" that were going to take me away....  But both wound up hurting me.   So where does a married person meet someone safely.    I'm relieved that I'm not the only one in this type of situation.  I've been feeling really alone.........

Thank you for letting me join in.

irishrose4 irishrose4
46-50, F
3 Responses Oct 21, 2010

We are not alone, Theres a lot of us out there. Some folks are trying to be judgemental about having a friend butThe way I seen this with 40 plus years in a marriage, its not feasable to split the estates at this late date-----There is nothing left in terms of any physical attention---she does her thing and I'm doing mine----Its peoples judgements that get in the way----You need to mingle at places of intertainment or if you have a friend that is having the same situation that my be a start. I tryed the online thing but I was left alone on there also---No one wants to get involved with a married man. Good luck

get out of the marriage first. you said you were hurt by two other online suitors., now you have guilt on top of all of your other emotions and illness? Would it make your hubby feel good to know you've betrayed him? I do not mean to sound insincere,.and I wish anyone on here all the luck and prayer. But good relationships start and end with honesty. Best to you.

No you are truley not alone in this! There are many in the same situation. I hope it works out for you and sooner rather than later!