Goodbye MMIt seemed like an ordinary day for me as I did the usual email checks and browsed a bit. I received several text messages from him asking me of my whereabouts, what I was doing at that time. I had to control myself not to respond to all of those, not to take the call. I realized and asked myself though why should I be afraid to be bold?
It has been almost a year of seeing this guy, exchanging sweet nothings, out of town trips, and a lot of escapades to name a few. As I look back I realized that somehow I have changed a lot and I am quite far from what was "me" before it became us.
No more Facebook
After seeing him for a few months, he requested me to deactivate my FB account because I won't need that anyway. He said that he is already taking care of me and FB is a a usual source of new contacts and prospects and he won't allow me to be taken by anyone else, not anymore. Initially, I reacted differently as I really enjoy the comfort and fun of having an FB account but after sometime of occasional escapes from him to open my account, I totally lost my enthusiasm to log in.
No more night-outs
Being a social animal, I really had fun going out on weekends to have a few drinks with my pals, listen to good music, and meet new friends. All these were gone as he demanded me not to go out anymore to have a drink. He was able to convince me and I just realized that my last night out has been almost a year from now.
I am not alone, but I am alone
He keeps on reminding me that I no longer need the comforts that I can get from spending time with my friends, because he is already there for me. That I do not need to always connect with them because if I need them and if they were for real, they will be there anyway. Although this is partly true, my friends need me too. Now I realized how much I missed. Yes, I do have him so I may not be alone. But the reality sucks that I am still alone because he has to go back to his wife.
Today he called me up and told me that he will come to visit me tomorrow and will stay until Thursday. He added that he is not yet sure if he can stay until Friday because it will depend whether his wife will look for him. I was silent for a while and after gathering all the strength in me I said: "I think that if you are afraid that she will look for you, you better not go. I am good anyway. I do not want to spend time with someone who is worried about his fears. I do not want to be with someone who is thinking of somebody else.
That awesome feeling! WHEW!
gabriellecute 31-35, F 4 Jan 29, 2013