Lost And Confused

I am technically not married, but been with my boyfriend for twelve long hard years. We have both stepped out in our relationship n come back together. We have kids together. He claims he loves me so much, but I fell out of love with him too many years ago. I cant break up my family. I will not loose my kids for my selfish ways, I rather stay miserable. But im sad. I have been dating someone but he also treats me crappy. I thought we were getting somewhere n maybe he was my hero, but in reality he is not anyone I could marry or allow to be a father to my kids. He has a bad backround, but he needed love n I was willing to give it to him. Now I gave him the love n i been honest with him n he has become distant. Somehow we got into a topic of exes and i told him i dated someone for three years. What bothered him is that he asked me did i date anyone at the job i said no. The guy I dated worked for another company but was subleased by my company. So regardless that he wasnt an employee my new guy says i lied. Whatever it was the past. But ever since that conversation he has changed on me. He asked me to move in with me, know he acts like he never said it. He used to call me all the time n text me he avoided me for a few days. When we r together he just stares at me like he wants to love me, but when we aare away from each other he is so distant. He never showed emotions easily because of his street life, but behind closed doors he made me believe he truely cared. What do I do? I cant seem to let him go.... I just want to be loved n treated wonderful. Ive been looking for the love my father never gave me til this day. My 12 year boyfriend is somewhat like my father, thats why I am not happy. I feel neglected.

coldcaseluv22 coldcaseluv22
36-40, F
1 Response Feb 4, 2010

No one desrves to be neglected. Things any better now?