Maybe Grandkids, Nieces Or Nephews?

It must take quite a while to get over being a parent yourself. Our kids are now passing through the teenage years and at odd times I find myself thinking whistfully about the babies we will now never have. For some time though I was quite happy to put small children well behind me - it was such a relief having kids that could toilet, dress themselves, and eat autonomously!

Tonight I visited a friend who had young kids - 4 and below. I played a bit, and read stories, and enjoyed it immensely. The experience made me think forward. I've got all this to look forward to again - as an uncle, and as a grandparent (I hope, just not too soon. Young Miss Blake and Masters Blake, no reproducing till after Uni please...). 

Bring it on! The fun and satisfaction of children without the responsibility and tiredness. I can see the attraction... 


rojblake rojblake
36-40, M
18 Responses Sep 8, 2009

i was feeling the same, i had my children (3 of them) very close together in my early 20's. where did that time go. I cant believe i got through it (their father left b4 my third was even one) so at 25 i was a single mother of 3 young children. life was hard, life was fun, I wouldn't have changed it for the world. however, i knew that was it for me. every year they grew it scared me that soon they wouldnt need me anymore. I was slowly but surly not the centre of their world anymore. For close to 10yrs I dated but never anyone serious. as they were all entering high school i met someone who i thought was right. suddenly, omg, i'm pregnant. I had mixed feelings about it all. I knew I could look after a baby but to go back and do it all over again. that was just over 2yrs ago. The father has left (just figures with me) so here i am with 3 children on the home run and a 1 and half year old just starting out. I'm so glad life threw me this though. Our little man has a family of mum and 3 much older siblings who adore him. I have a baby back and this time round im in no hurry at all. these baby years can last forever as far as im concerned. when i look at my older children ( eldest is 15 now) i can proudly say that i did it and im doing it again

Grand children, it doesn't sound fun to me yet, I guess my daughter is too little for that!<br />
<br />
The idea that someday I might miss a little one around me, might be fun

Thanks Angel~ Take your time, God. Happy with 'incidental' for the moment!

Angel~ they are lovely relationships when they work, aren't they (grandparents). Not to mention all of the other incidental ones. Will have to make sure we don't have one of those silly dysfunctional grandparent-grandchild relationships. Life is too short - and you miss out on all the great grand children if you stuff it up, too.

Irishgurl all I can think is that 14 would have been a couple of years too early for me :) but I suppose like being a parent you soon see past any negatives to see the positives of having children (or in this case, grandchildren). At least you're a grandmother with youth and energy on your side (as I hope I'll be - grandfather that is). It sounds like your daughter is doing well despite the early start.<br />
<br />
JRB46 I'm glad to hear that you've found some children in your life elsewhere - and you have the automatic plus of being significant in their life without some of the downsides of direct parenthood. It seems to be reality that we just can't count on anything - I know that despite having our own children, there's no guarantee that we'll have any more in our family directly for the next 20 years or perhaps ever. That's why it's good to be able to look outside - and appreciate that all children are a gift.

I just want to say ENJOY them.<br />
I have no children and regreat it VERY MUCH.<br />
I do have second cousins, I dote on one boy and one girl. The girl is adopted form Georgia, Russia. She is 15 now and has been a hand full for her parents. I don't know how she will turn out but I still love her.<br />
The boy is 18 and is my lifes joy.<br />
He just started NYU last month.<br />
He is one of these children that EVERYBODY wants. Smart, good looking, GREAT personality and very popular with the girls.<br />
I looked so forward at him getting married and having children before I pass away.<br />
That is not to be. On his 18th birthday he announced he was gay.<br />
Mind you I have NO PROBLEMS with that. Just a little disappointed about the children.<br />
Yet I did gain another real good friend. My cousins partner. He is a great guy and a great match for my cousin.<br />
These 2 young people have know each other since their freshman year in high school.. They have so much in common. I think this world is going to be changed by these two. Mark My Words.<br />
His brother and his daughter was adopted MAYBE he will continue the tradition and they will adopt a young one.<br />
BOTH of them LOVE children. Any child lucky enough to be chosen by these guys will have the best life possible.

Grandkids are great! My daughter is 19 now and had her first kid at 14! she is now pregnant with her 3rd! anyway I was made a grandmother at a young age,but I love my granddaughters who are 4 and 2. It's like being a parent all over again (with alot less energy!) You get to make-up for the mistakes you made with your own kids! You will love it; good luck. Oh and I have a 14 yr. old boy still at home.

There may be hidden meaning here.<br />
<br />
When I was at my friends, I didn't think about it at the time, but I was enjoying the thought that my interaction could have a positive effect on their life. Didn't consider the opposite - what does that say?<br />
<br />
Anyway with our kids I get excited about them developing. When I do things with them I like the thought that it's moving them forward. So the mud pies have to be more complicated now (preferably with sweet filling), the favourite books evolving, the cubbies more thought-through. Cuddles haven't changed though! Perhaps I didn't enjoy the ritual of it all as much.

I've been planning for our grandchildren for a long time now Roj. I've dreamt about making mud pies, reading all those favourite books all over again, making cubbies in the bush and lots and lots of cuddles. <br />
<br />
Actually when I think of it, our kids still like doing all of these things still! Right. Tomorrow I'll be out in the dirt-pit making mud creations....nothing like getting down and dirty...Perhaps then straight after that I'll come and give you a cuddle while you are EPing.

We're all marveling at you, HS! Once you've been through the King Neptune ceremony I suppose anything is possible. I don't think the strange whirlpools here have anything to do with our sleep habits.<br />
<br />
Are there kids in the Happy Sailor real life circle?

This is a great story< but I still marvel how you bastards down in Oz can stay up until this hour...<br />
<br />
Must be the toilet swirling the other way or something...

Well I wish her fecundity, I know it's not always easy to come by. As long as she has a good man to work with!

It was someone else that wanted the beard ~ that's another story. My daughter is doing her best.

Glad to hear that you're doing your best, WOO :) Committing your facial hair to the cause. I hope your daughter is also taking the task seriously.

LillyLou and JoanCarol have it right. You give em back when you've had enough, so I believe anyway.<br />
<br />
Don't know that having a beard helps, though my daughter encouraged it's regrowth. No grand kids yet :(

JoanCarol you just make it sound like a wonderful time. Definitely something to look forward to. How many grandkids in the JoanCarol tribe?

"Firm but fair" I'm sure. You definitely have to bake. There's so much fun to be had there.

Joy, I don't know about facial hair. I think I'll just have to make do with stories and play :)<br />
<br />
Puff it's funny to actually realise it ! There are definitely some sorts of things you just can't do with older kids... <br />
<br />
Lilly, surely you won't be the type of grandmother that spoils the grandkids??? Then again, it would seem unfair to be the mean disciplinarian with all of the kids in your life!