Written on May 25th, 2010
Tomorrow, my best friend is going back home to Spain. Today was his last day, and instead of spending it around the flat with me, he chose to not even speak to me and go out for the entire time with a vietnamese girl who giggles a lot and can flirt and who he obviously likes a lot more. I don't know why I'm never anybody's that kind of person if you know what I mean. A few months ago he had a close girl friend- then the girl friend got a boyfriend and it seems like he used me to fill the gap until the vietnamese girl came along. And, of course, my brain is saying: "it's because you're fat and lumpy and awkward and ugly and she only weighs about six stone and of course he's going to want to spend his last day with her".
It is a bit gutting because I'm going to miss him appallingly and we've pretty much done everything together for the last few months. It's just the fact that he didn't even want to see me on his last day that upsets me so much. I thought writing this might help but it's making me feel like crying. I really wanted to walk with him to the station tomorrow but I think probably I won't be welcome because vietnamese girl is going. I'm not happy...basically fed up with being used by everyone when they don't have anyone else.