I Don't Love My Husband

I don't love my husband. I don't think I have ever loved him. I care for him but there is no "love". I married him out of sympathy. He makes me guilty for some reason for everything and makes me feel like my way of thinking or reasoning is not the right way and I used to fall for it but now I am just so frustrated and I want out of this marriage but he says that this is just a temporary feeling. I know for sure this is not temporary, if I had married him because I love him then yes deep down I would have felt that I love him afterall and I would remind myself of the way i fell in love with him. But if there is no love then why should I push myself to love him and stay in this marriage? I have been feeling like this for 2 years now but I would ignore it in the beginning but now it has come to the point where I cannot ignore because that feeling has grown so strong. I am completely repulsed by him when he touches me or tries to have sex with me. We argue a lot and we say things to each other and there is a lot of emotional ups and downs that drives me crazy. he says that arguing in a marriage is normal but if it is making me feel like crap and want to run away......is that normal?? I mean we never come to a solution..I end up giving up because he makes me feel so guilty that i just say to myself..what the hell...even if you don't love him..leave him afterwards. I keep thinking how to leave him but its so hard because we have 2 children together and I worry a lot about them. So basically I am in this marriage just for the sake of kids not because I love him. I hate him!!

montygirl montygirl
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 23, 2009

Could you be mistaken a loss of love for your husband with a loss of passion?<br />
<br />
Have you ever considered that "love" has more in common with one's actions - It's something one does? <br />
<br />
Where as "Passion" has more to do with one's feelings?<br />
<br />
A well known recital at many weddings happens to be:<br />
<br />
Love is patient, love is kind, love is not envious or boastful, it's not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrong-doing, It keeps no record of wrongs...... It bears all things, believes all things (are possible), hopes all things, endures all things."<br />
<br />
Love has more to do with our actions involving committment, seasoned with faith. Committment with faith in your spouse. Committment with faith in each other, your marriage together. Committment with faith to your future together - Committment with faith in your plans together for the success and happiness of each member of the family you created together. <br />
<br />
I undersatnd if there were no children involved- who would suffer as much (or more) in a divorce suit - that making a clean-cut of your relationship with your husband would be a much easier thing to do. <br />
<br />
What I would take into consideration if it were myself is this: "Will I be able to care for and extend this love to my children (and husband) offering them the best of myself that they deserve to have? Or is the misery I'm experiencing too much for me to stay committed, hopeful, or having the faith to fulfill the palns and dreams we once shared and believed in together? <br />
<br />
Or, could I possibly have one more action of love I could commit too, before finalizing a decision? Such as, Marriage Counseling?<br />
<br />
My wishes are for your future happiness, regardless the decision you believe necessary to make.