I Lost My Mom

I had just turned 12 years old. Mom got sick a month before my birthday. She had been sick  6 months earlier, and it was cancer; but, she went through surgery and was ok. They told her there was a 50/50 chance the cancer could spread; but mom was ok. One day towards the end of my grade 6 year, mom came to my school and called me out of class. "Mommy has to go to Regina to see the doctor. I'll be back soon. Everything will be ok." Have I said that Mom was ok? This time she was not. The cancer had spread...to her brain. In the 1970s the doctors and medical science did not know what it does today. There would be no miracle. Mom underwent radiation, and it burned her face a bit. I was able to go to Regina to see her, and it was a fun trip for me because of being able to go to the Regina Exhibition! But it was so hard to see Mom lying in bed not able to do much.
A short time after the Regina trip, Dad said Mom was coming home. I was so happy! This was short-lived because Mom was so sick she was coming home to die. So sad were these last couple weeks. Mom went from talking to us & knowing us to not being able to talk & not knowing us.
Then one day it was over. Mom's pain and discomfort had ended, and she was gone. Just like that. I guess, looking back, it was a relief because she was at peace. But at the time it hurt so bad. It still hurts.
jiggstrixie92 jiggstrixie92
51-55, F
3 Responses Apr 22, 2011

yr story sound the same as mine, but wth my father ( i was raised by my father).....i was not a child but an adult goin thru the same..its been 8 yrs last wk..and it is very very painful still for me......i empathize n sympathize with u, i understand the massive vode u have in yr heart..

I am so sorry that you suffered this terrible loss early in your life. You have rationalized it well and allowed it to be in its place, but grief remains, doesn't it. I do know, with all my heart, that God is very near to you and will one day wipe away every tear and pour balm on your wounded heart. And one day, very soon, you will be reunited with your mother and it will seem like just the click of your fingers since you were last together. Hugs.

Thanks. I, too, picture my mom in Heaven looking down upon me with great joy. I know she is at peace with God. Sadness still has its place in my heart; but life goes on.