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Lung Cancer For a Non-smoker Family

The call was made and I had to fly back home. My mom was fine, and now she's not.

She used to be an active woman, 55, non-smoker, working doing what she loved, helping others as a Personal Support Worker, now I am her caregiver. It was just 2 months ago that we realized cancer is back in our life, and this time is nothing we can do about it.

Two years ago some routine exam found out that my mom had a tiny tumor in her lung, the doctor said we could remove it and after that surgery, everything was so fine, Until now, having so many check ups, I am angry too because they said she was fine and it already spreaded all over in her bones and brain. They never told me it could come back somewhere else. Why they didn't check when she was having so much pain and they would think it was sprained muscles? She would complaint so much and now it's too late. 

She is angry, sad and depressed to see that her dreams, a better life for all of us are being destroyed. She just bought a house, I was overseas with my husband having a good life, my brother is only 22 and my dad was supposed to be the sick one, he has diabetes and angina so although it sounds really harsh, I never though my mom would be to the end of her days before my dad.

Moreover, because she was the main working force at home, our family income has decreased and the ******* critical illness insurance that is supposed to be for her enjoyment before she dies is being denied in some f___ng clause. She gave her life to the benefit of others, volunteering and now she can't even have her final trip home because we need to save it for when we all have to go home to bury her. If it wasn't for my finantial help, they would had lost the house already.

My brother and my dad deal with it in a terrible way, just ignoring and trying to be away from home, I am here just dealing with it on my own and being the "responsible one" trying to keep strong for what's next.

My mom feels terrible and I just hate to see her in such pain waiting for the worst. I wish sometimes this would be over because she also hates the slow pace of the disease. I can't take this any longer and I hate over positive people who would think she is gonna be ok, I hate to explain how bad her prognosis is and how little time we have with her, maybe a year, maybe 6 months, maybe 3 months... this is agony.

 

dolcelina dolcelina 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 16, 2009

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I lost my mother to lung caner when she was 42. She was also a nonsmoker. <br />
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I was 22 at that time and I remember that people were reluctant to be around her because the thought of her dying was just too much for them to bear. This was especially true of my father.<br />
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I remember people saying unrealistic things and making me angry. SHE is dying! she is not going to get better, stop lying to me! For God's sake don't say this is some sort of spiritual test!<br />
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God does not kill people because he feels like testing you. If he does, he doesn't deserve to be God.<br />
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Because I went into the medical field later, people would say that perhaps it was a blessing because my patients would not benefit otherwise. Besides being not true, I would trade all the good I have done for an hour with my mother.<br />
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Sorry for the side confession. My advice, is that at the time I kept thinking what was the right thing for a son to do and try to do that. It never takes away the pain, but the thought that I was a good son gave me some comfort afterwards. It wasn't enough, but it was comforting.<br />
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I am sorry for your situation. I wish I could be of more comfort.