Cant get over him #2

This is the update... Normally people would say things about how its got better; but after more then a year, i dont think that it has. I got comments on they kno and dont kno how this feels. Well i wish i knew how i felt. Well jus to let yall know, i still havent got over him!! :'( but i sure do put on a big smile on and fake that i have, to EVERYBODY that i kno. I since then got a new guy who really is a GREAT GUY not perfect, cuz ya we fight but he does try to make me happy. So because of my new man i stop letting my Ex into my place, he also had to stop calling me, and i put him child support. Did everything i could to move on but no matter how hard i try i cant stop missing him. Before we were best of but then a baby. Of course things went down hill from there Which is why he is now my Ex. He stop seeing our daughter who is now 3 and had a baby with his new wife. She(new wife) does NOT let him come over here probably cause she does not trust him with me. My man wouldn't trust us either but he would never stop the father to my baby from coming to see his daughter. I miss him so much(Ex) i look at his pictures and videos. Cause thats all i have left. He hasnt died but i feel that i lost him and i want to treasure those pics and videos because i feel that we were meant for each other.I guess the person i loved did die and i feel like there is a chance he can come back. Now as for my new man can never be truely loved, when my heart belongs to someone else but i dare never to tell him that, for the fear that this new great man might leave me for not having control over this heart that beats in my chest. He has helpd me to get my mind off of him and love me the way a man should love a women. I do love him(my new man), i just dont see myself giving him a child or saying "I DO". Just an update from -this heart that beats in my chest- 
behkii behkii
18-21, F
Aug 4, 2010