I Want To Be AloneI have a feeling that I hate most people, because I think they are cruel and mean and they want to hurt me. I am so nervous around people, but I hide behind a mask of a strong and condident person. But, inside me, there is a broken and scared child, who is looking for care, love and attention constantly.
I have been going through cycles of depression, and a few years ago I was suicidal. Now, I'm terrified to go back to those dark days. I find it very hard to think positively and not to take things personally. I am a very sensitive person, and take things to my heart.
I am terrified sometimes, that somebody could see the broken child in me. So, I have to act hard and arm myself with more masks. But the best and easiest way, is to avoid people, to save myself the agony of pretending all the time.
I try to meditate, yet I find it very difficult to let go of all the negative thoughts that haunt me all the time.
Can somebody help me.
BigChild 46-50, F 1 Response 0 Oct 17, 2011