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I Want To Be Alone

I have a feeling that I hate most people, because I think they are cruel and mean and they want to hurt me. I am so nervous around people, but I hide behind a mask of a strong and condident person. But, inside me, there is a broken and scared child, who is looking for care, love and attention constantly.
I have been going through cycles of depression, and a few years ago I was suicidal. Now, I'm terrified to go back to those dark days. I find it very hard to think positively and not to take things personally. I am a very sensitive person, and take things to my heart.
I am terrified sometimes, that somebody could see the broken child in me. So, I have to act hard and arm myself with more masks. But the best and easiest way, is to avoid people, to save myself the agony of pretending all the time.
I try to meditate, yet I find it very difficult to let go of all the negative thoughts that haunt me all the time.

Can somebody help me.

BigChild
BigChild BigChild 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 17, 2011

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So who hurt you when you were young to cause this, do you remember? This is fairly easy to clear out, I know, it's what I do.<br />
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Do you want to get rid of this? Let's talk. :)<br />
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Be well,<br />
Larry