All I See And Feel Is Nothingness.

I wake up almost every morning thinking to myself: 'You are going nowhere. Your life means nothing.' I am currently studying for a MA degree in English Literature, and yet I feel no drive to excel at it because I see nothing positive at the end of it. With rising unemployment, rising costs and massive cuts, there is little opportunity for post-graduates like myself. So what am I to do? It's not like I can even get a low-end job in a coffee shop, as it's become almost impossible to gain employment for even the most menial work, and if you suffer from ongoing depression, it's practically hopeless. I see no way out of my situation. The fact I am single and am still living at home because I can't afford to live away just depresses me more. I feel nothing but helpless, with no light whatsover. I apologize if I sound self-absorbed, I just don't know what to do anymore.

tristessastar tristessastar 22-25, M 10 Responses Oct 18, 2010

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I feel the same way

so sorry for your depression. i feel axact same. i dont know what to do either. its hard to just change too like people say. depression isnt something you can just decide to not be in. so dont ever think even lower when people make you feel awful for being self absorbed and stuck in depression. its not something you can just get out of. itll be hard battle to fight. and people saying its easy to change ****** me off and makes me feel guilty for being depressed. dont listen to any of their **** cause they dont understand even though they all say they do.

You know, I have the exact same feelings. I look around and I see nothing in my life to be happy about. Everybody hates me, no one shows me any compassion, I'm unemployeed, and there is nothing at all to smile about. But here's what I do, this is my hope. Jesus Christ, lol, I know how it sounds. I cling to God and I pray and meditate on God's love for me. You know, its unexplainable, but when I'm concentrating on God I get a burst of joy that I can't explain. I feel happy! Happy because he loves me, and he's up there, and he has some kind of plan for me that I can't see just yet. God can be the joy that your missing..

You do have job prospects, maybe not in the states and maybe not exactly what you're looking for, but let yourself be open for the adventure. You can easily get a position in a University in many Asian countries with your masters, or even teach English in Spain or France. I have many friends that have done so while waiting to go to grad school/paying off loans/waiting for the economy to get better so don't fret about your job prospects. There are opportunities out there: finish your degree, think outside the box, and maybe take a job you don't necessarily want for a while until you build up your self esteem and find something better- it will come along if you believe in yourself!

(If you want more specific advice on working abroad, don't hesitate to msg me)

I know this will sound so simple but here goes. Every life has a purpose, every life has been created by the creator and that creator has a plan for you. You have a destiny. we all feel lost in life even at the best times. We are all trying to do it on our own. Quit worring about it, everytime you worry you just throw that day away. Who knows, tommoro you may be dead and then your last day on earth will have been wasted on nonthing, life is not about career or money it is about love. You do not have to have money to love. dont woory about tommorw it is to haavy for anyone.

for Gods sake you could have lived through World War 2 in Europe fighting Nazis, been a jew in a concretation camp, could have been a black slave in early America ripped out of your homeland in Africa, Who knows what kind of worse luck you could have, put things in perspective in your life. You are working on a MA how many people cant even go to college, is the glass half empty or half full what the hell is it!!!!!

If you have to quit school move to the beach and smoke dope and surf all day!!!!! This is America do you know how many people died in the history of this country so we can lie around and whine and cry about how bad we have it.

I only say this because for the last two years i have had my share of problems, I lost a multi million dollar company, i lost 5 million in real estate, my mom died this summer 6 weeks ago, i got fired from a job because i was distracted about my mom, can you believe it my mom was dying and some ******* *** hole fired me from a job i need more than anything in the world and what i got fired over was bul ****. Yo top that off i am 50 years old and i have never been married and i feel so alone in life, I thought when my investments matured i would retire around 50 and go to europe and find a wife, NOT, so can i cry and have I yes but it was all for nonthing, all of the worry for nonthing and to top it off i am a dam addict!!!!!

But you know what the sun is shinning today and the birds are chirping and when i go outside it is a little coldbut feel good and i have money and food and a warm place to stay today and I know God has a plan for me, Despite all of this crap God has all of this handled, my job is to be happy and to trust God and of course to pray and to tell people about him if i et the chance.

Being stressd and worried is a choice, I am not sure about depression, I have found out with me i have a choice with depression but i hear some people dont and have to take drugs but i was able to choose to be depressed or not.

so my advice is trust God, it his responsibility , you have faith and waith for God to lead you nd then just go out and know everything will be all right be happy, go for a jog, go to the gym, take your girlfreind to a movie if you do not have a girlfreind get one, do you rember when you were a litttle kid like 9 or 10 and the school week was over and you woke up on a saturday morning and were excited because you did not have to go to school and you could go outside all day and play with your freionds, you would get up put on your clothes go downstairs and grab a glass of milk and run outside to your freinds house and play and run all day and think the day would just last forever, that should be your day every day, be the little on saturday morning wanting to play with freinds or watch his favorite cartoon because in the end that is all we get a sunny day and some good friends and a little time to be happy.

Trust me on your deth bed you wont be counting your money or looking at all of the great jobs you had over your lifetime!!!

Go have fun, you are healthy and young and things are tough but they will get better they always do look at the generations before us, and above all give it to God whatever it is that is bothering You


Tristessa, my advice to you is to finish your degree and to do so without the end in mind, especially since no one on this planet can truly predict what that end will be. I know there is a lot of depressing news out there but just because people you know in similar situations have had certain experiences or you read the stuff they print in the newspapers, doesn't mean that you are doomed. Some people thrive, even in a recession, because life has a way of surprising you so long as you stay open to possibilities and I can say this has been my experience after some 42 years on this planet.

The problem I and many people have, is that often we want things in a certain way and with specific timing eg "I want a full time job by the end of this year or I won't be happy" and reject the other things life offers. We place conditions on our happiness. I am sure once upon a time, your definition of happiness was to be doing a masters in English. When did that change?

Rejecting the other stuff that life has to offer can be a problem, because until we can see the bigger picture of our lives (and we can only do this with many years of hindsight) we may not understand why certain things had to happen BEFORE we got the things we wanted.

You may roll your eyes when someone suggests volunteering or working abroad instead but through that experience YOU COULD meet the best friend, or discover a new meaning for your life, or meet the partner of your dreams! Perhaps there is something else you need to do or people you need to meet before you get that dream job, but in doing those things or meeting those people you life will be richer.

But having said all of this, you may get a decent job straight away after your degree. Why have you already decided that you won't? And how do you think the belief that you won't will affect your chances?

I suppose what I am trying to say is it is never your circumstances but what you choose to do about them. Living at home is a pain, but compare that to living on the street - a bit more painful right? Being single can get lonley but would you want to have a partner and be unable to afford to go out or take them out instead?

I know how debilitating depression can be, but understand that it is colouring the whole way in which you are viewing the world and the life that is in front of you. At the risk of sounding preachy, all I want to say really is that life has many more possibilities than you are currently allowing for.

PS I did my MA in English in 1994. It may not have helped me get a job, but I have always worked, and I have never regretted doing this degree.

Trist - you can either stick it out and finish what you started, despite the forecast, or cut your losses and try something different. Let this question roll around in your head for a few days and by the fifth day of contemplating the choices you will absolutely know your answer. There will be options no matter what choice you make.

Limms - it's all in your attitude and viewpoint. You have no prior commitments, don't answer to anyone, no one will miss you if you pack up and go wherever you want, no lease to break, no home to sell, no car payments. Sit down and write out your dreams for the next 6 months and the next 3 years. That list will give you the spark for what to do next.

Both - if depression is a major impediment in your life say why here or seek out a counselor.

I feel the same. How can anyone change their life if they have no friends, no family, no job and no money and are totally on their own??

I have an MA and I'm living at my sisters, not paying rent. I haven't been making enough money to take care of myself for the past 3 years. I'm 33 and I feel like a loser a lot of the time. But I also know that I've put myself here. Yep, it's all me. The thing is: things got hard and I gave up, I made excuses to not try anymore cause I was so damn scared of failing, or succeeding, God knows. I can't help but think you are doing something similar, you haven't even graduated yet and you have already given up on hope for your career. It's time to get creative I say. The traditional way of finding work is over. Focus on your unique skills, if you don't know what they are, ask your friends, develop something special, something you like doing, and most all don't be afraid. It's really hard I know, but it's hard for everybody, anything worth doing is going to be hard, but we have to at least try, get moving and stuff will happen.

Time for a change don't you think?

Take a chance and do something different. If your current lifestyle isn't going anywhere, then go for a total change. What's the worst that can happen?

Travel, get involved with the community, or just do something that's fun for you!

I go to the gym and feel good about it. Helps relieves stress and make me physically and emotionally better. I may not be book smart but I can at least work on my physical appearance. That makes me good to see that I am in a better shape than a lot of other people. Anyways, just a suggestion.