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Meaningless Lost In Life

I was blind...That was childhood...World was passion, a joy of feelings, hopes and dreams. A growing flame i used to be....Now, I'm finally opening my eyes to the world -adolescence- The flame fades away in the real dark...How to keep your dreams alive when everybody makes them seem too high?!...Though I used to dream of a better world,of making a difference in the world, there's no passion, there's no feeling anymore, neither something to hold on... There's no feeling, there's no hope, there's no flame, just another meaningless ME, fading away, lost in life...Hoping the end will be a better start.
waterlily waterlily 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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My childhood was the happiest time of my life. Things were far from perfect, but my mum worked wonders to protect me from these problems to give me the best childhood possible. Then came adulthood...and that bright, happy and innocent world was lost forever. Adulthood has brought nothing but betrayal, empty dreams and bitter disappointments. Becoming an adult has been probably one of the most tragic things to happen to me.

thank you for your comment..It won't change my life, but it matters enough to me :) I plan to see a therapist too, especially now that you told me that that's the way to feel better about myself. :)

You're welcome :)

Thank you waterlily for posting this, because if you would have not, I wouldn't have read these beautifull comments, Thank You :)

waterlily it sounds like you are suffering from depression . i have also had that problem my whole life but there are some things which can make it go away at least for awhile. if you find a job where you can help others it may assist with that. i don't want to sound like a know it all . :-)<br />
when i was 17 i had just finished school and i felt like a useless nothing dork . then i got a job as a nurses assistant for 2 months at the local government hospital . to cut a long story short one of my duties was to feed a man who no longer had a bottom jaw with a syringe every day.i would sqeeze the liquidised food into the back of his throat so he could swallow. i felt very awkward at 1st but he thanked me with his eyes every time . during this time i felt like a useful human . if you help others your life will have meaning . :-)

thank you for your advice.....:).........I don't dislike the world, I dislike myself, the nothing I am.....I do those things you told me to do :)......still, I find no meaning to my life, anyone can do that even better than me............

Thank you for your confession....:).....I am glad to see that there's a person who enjoyed his life, with goods and bads :), and please don't be afraid because of the little time you have to be with your family, it's not the years in your life, but the life in your years that matter....I am condemned to be nothing, I don't think I will have a satisfying job, neither a family...To be realistic, I'm not smart enough to afford a good job, the best I could do, though it's not sure this either, is to become a pharmacist...A family I don't afford because I know I would never be a good mother or a good wife, I'm too scared to try it and fail, I'll hurt too much people I love, so I run away from love as much as I can...My life is never going to matter, and It's probably my fault...maybe I'm to scared to live...There's no purpose for me big enough to see it through my fear.