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I Am In Limbo....

I feel like I am limbo. I feel empty and I try to remain optimistic but I just feel stuck and it's so hard. I don't know what to do. I am rambling right now I know, but this is what I am going through.

I haven't had a job in two years, and for that time I have been using that time to finish school, while living under my parents roof. But I am so sick of not having a job, and I would like to at least have some income coming in so I can pay my bills. I hate this feeling, and it just doesn't seem like our economy is getting any better. I've filled out application after application online and went to some places even. And still no calls. I feel like a pathetic loser. I don't get it. My best friend doesn't even want to talk to me.
I've had an interview for an internship and didn't get it, I've had an interview for some call center and didn't get it. And mainly because my self-esteem is so low that when I walk into the interview, I am not prepared and don't know what to do. I hate the interview process! It sucks! It's like could you just give me the job?!! I need money!!! I'll work hard and do my best to learn quick!! I have a 3.5 gpa accumulative and 4.0 for the semester. I feel I should deserve some kind of job for getting awesome grades so far! But the world I guess doesn't look at that. And I guess I should be selling myself like that at interviews. I've said positive things about myself that I should be selling at an interview as to why I want to be there and why I deserve to.

I know I am not the only one struggling out there. So if anyone else out there has a something to say, I'd like to hear your story.
LuciaRose LuciaRose 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2011

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well my story is pretty much the same. i did really well in school to and i'm like jesus christ what the hell am i working so freaking hard for in school if it doesn't translate into money?? i think i finally just applied to less competitive jobs cause they were part time or you sort of have to have an interest in he field to want them, but i don't care, that helped. some of my friends dont want to talk to me either i think i vibrate "i'm unsucessful" worse than ever in my life. its like a huge effort for me to even look presentable these days. whenever i feel like omg nothing works, i'm totally incompetent, i can't make anything occur, i just vent on EP and it really helps. i have like a million gazillion venting stories. like you don't feel so bad about your low self esteem when you vent and find out that about a million other people have the same problem as you. Its like once you accept that its okay to have low self-esteem, your self esteem improves. what also helped me was just talking to people, even they were online people, because it just makes you feel connected to people, and you know when you go into that job interview, even if the interviewer doesn't like you, you still have a base of outside support. also other people bring out the competent, genuine side of you that you can sometimes forget if when you get rejected, or just dont hear from companies you applied. the point is that you are being received, thats really whats the worst, feeling not received.