I Need To Change

I am so unhappy with myself. So totally and completely unhappy with my life and the way i live it..those of you reading this, please continue to read and then leave your comments below...i am desperate for advice and some sort of guidance. I just dont know what to do..thats my main problem..i dont know WHAT to do to fix this..im not even sure i know what exactly is wrong with me. all i know is that each day i wake up angrier and angrier because i dont know how to fix my problems. I am so insecure...thats predominantly whats wrong me..i have immense, deep seated insecurities..i dont know where they came from or what i can do to fix them but they're there and they're killing me. funny this is, ive never been through anything traumatic in life..there's nothing monumentally wrong..but i still feel this way. which just makes me feel worse. My insecurities are getting worse day by day. I feel ignored and rejected by everyone around me..i feel like im invisible and that no one talks to me or looks at me..i feel unpopular..i feel like im just not important. i constantly get mad at people because i feel like they're ignoring me and ive ruined so many of my friendships because of this. i always run after other people's approval..their praise means everything to me...i feel like i have so many faults and that im the worst person in the world. I used to write but ive lost my confidence and i just dont feel like i can do it anymore. anything i do, like interning somewhere, just doesnt make me happy because i always feel so stupid. i honestly feel like i have no knowledge about anything. i feel so ignorant and unintelligent..i want to fix this so bad. how do i feel good about myself? Anything i attempt in my life just doesnt satisfy me because my insecurities get in the way...i fell like ill fail or im not doing as good as some other person..and i have such incredible anger issues. i snap at everyone around me and that makes me feel so terrible all the time..i say such bitter hurtful things but i dont know how to stop..i think negatively about everyone in my life..i get so annoyed so easily and then i say something in retaliation and then i worry that person's mad at me...its the same pattern over and over again...how can i stop doing this? i hate being so angry and petty. deep inside, im a nicer person..i like beauty and happiness and loving people but EVERYTHING like my frustration and anger just makes me forget all of that...i dont know how to bring that side of me out..i deal with anger in such an unhealthy way...i hold on to it and keep thinking about it till it makes me madder. i can be vengeful and catty. how do i change this viscous way of thinking? its so toxic to me...but i dont know what to do about. please someone recognize whats wrong with me and how i can make it better
redtoshiba redtoshiba
18-21, F
7 Responses May 6, 2012

I have found that we can become insecure and angry as a way of protecting ourselves from being hurt. It's sounds as though the way you are feeling is preventing you from fully engaging in relationships with others and in your career. It's normal to feel anxious that we might fail or do something stupid, and a lot of the time we do stuff up- its part of the process of learning and growth! It's sounds as though your anxiety surrounding these situations has gotten out of hand. Perhaps you would benefit from trying to use some relaxation techniques which can easily be found on the Internet. Failing this, there is absolutely no shame in seeking the help of a professional to get you through this tough time. Remember you are not alone. Good luck =)

you're absolutely right cyre5, thank you

you are not alone.i also feel ignored unwanted and also alienated. sometimes when we look at our lives and think that we are not worth living and hence we find it hard to accept ourselves.we wake up everyday and we are like ugh!yet another day but we forget one thing, we were created for a reason and for a purpose. f surely god didn't have a purpose for us in our lives then he surely would have put an end to our lives long time ago.the first step in making people accept us and recognize that we are people to is by first accepting ourselves. even when we think that people are ignoring us god is always aware that we are there and he w2ill never ignore.i usually tell myself that when people don't recognize me its because i haven't given them a reason to and if i compare myself with other people i will never be myself but rather live other peoples lives

Thank you so much InNeedOfAnswers for your wonderful answer and words of support..it helped me immensely.

hi. it's like everybody has this feelings at times in their life. the important part is the only one can help you is yourself, but the best part is that you don't need anybody to be happy. help yourself AND DO what makes you feel better.

thank you awarren98 for your support

believe and trust yourself more. It's easier said than done, but you can do it. Positive self talk helps. Push yourself through the things you don't think you can do, and when you make an accomplishment reward yourself. It's all about feeling good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself you will be happier. Never compare yourself to others, everyone is different, and notice how speacial you are.