Lost In Life. Screwed Up My Life.

i am 28 this year. i have a long term girlfriend for a couple of years. a decent middle income sales job.($3-$4k per mth). a pair of healthy parents.
basically i would say i have a happy life compared to the others less fortunate . this year, i made a grave mistake by falling in love with a thai prostitute named june.working in geylang. i started to lose interest having sex with my girlfriend. knowing june was going back thailand end of the month, i visited her every night!. i knew it is stupid to fell in love with a *****, i just cannot control myself. now she already left. i thought everything will went back to normal. i was wrong. my mind keeping thinking of her. i stop having sex with my current girlfriend. i lost interest in my job too. everything seems so unimportant to me now except seeing june in person. my close friends have benn telling me to give up june in risk of everything i owned. but i just cannt forget about her. what should i do to regain meaning in life? i see at myself in the mirror and forcely reprimand myself that i deserved it. but i just cannt get her out of my mind. i am completely lost in life. i have the urge to fly ti thailand everyday. i struggled within myself everyday to stay in singapore. this is insane! i knew its all wrong! but i just cant help it!. i realised nobody understand how i feel inside, i stop seeing my friends. i feel trapped.

(you people will call me an idiot and scold me after reading my story)
(as usual nobody understand how i feel)
( i dont trust others anymore)
( i only believe in my feelings)
(thats to see june again)
(nothings else matters anymore...)

ketianci ketianci
1 Response May 15, 2012

If you feel that deeply for her, then maybe you should go see her. We cannot help who we fall inlove with, but does June feel the same about you?

i dont know. she told me she love me very much. only me she allowed raw sex. but people have been saying_ can you trust words of a prostitute? to her, i might be just another generous customer. . i know this relationship will come to no good ending. how am i going to tell my parents i'm marrying a prostitute?