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Only In My Dreams

There was a song by Debbie Gibson out called that when I was little.

So yeah, only in my dreams...that's the only time I've had any type of happiness at all in the past month.

I had a dream recently where I met Patrick Swayze, and we talked about dance this and that, and then we danced together a little bit. :-D

I was so so happy in that dream! One of my biggest passions is dance. Sadly though, since I havn't felt good in close to a year, I havn't really danced. Back when I did feel well though I danced my booty off.

The dancing itself I loved loved loved, but often times the people that were dancing with/along side me would get on my nerves. When it was all girl thing, I felt like I got a silent type of attitude or looks that were I guess supposed to kill. Then when it came to partner dancing, like lindy hop or something, I felt like ew I didn't want those guys touching me...some partners were ok and actually nice to dance to and dance with, but there were plenty of the others.

I didn't stop dancing because of that though. I stopped because I got sick. I miss it, but there were almost more cons thsn pros, so I don't know. I was thinking of just switching venues/groups and exploring the options when I got sick.

So that's out.

Another thing of huge importance to me is animals. Other than sending e mails speaking out against cruelty, there's not much I can do in that arena either. My precious bunny boy is gone. I don't have the strength to go to volunteer or anything either.

I wish there was a guy that I could meet that actually knew how to dance, partner dance, and knew how fo lead and stuff. I don't really know how to jitterbug or do the west coast swing but I can dance...and that's all it really takes, plus learning a few technicalities. I remember one time when I went to one of those lindy hops...I danced one of the pros there, and it was effortless. I was new at it and was focusing on the correct foot steps etc, he said "don't look at your feet" lol", then it all feel into place. :-)

That guy was kinda giving me googley eyes too.. heheee lol

So the point of the story is...but only in my dreams. There's no way I'm going to meet a Patrick Swayze type that knows all about dance, and that's single, and coutless other requirments.

I'm not even in my 20s anymore. And, alas, I don't feel well.

Don't forget to cherish every open floor!!! ;-)



watch your feet", so then it all fell in to place. :-)??

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orchid00 orchid00 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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I have PTSD so I understand but you can do it, get some professional help and talk with other members of PTSD group. You are just now entering the awakening of your life and you have much more out there to do.