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Sadly I have come to realize everything I have thought or believed in was a fabrication. Everything that I had is now gone or is slipping away. I have lost touch with who I considered good friends, I don't know why or how. I lost my job which was the best one I had ever had, might not have been great money but I enjoyed what I did, and lost my truck. One of the most self-sacrificing persons that I know is going to lose there job because they wanted to help people, she worked over 80 hours a week and more. She is going to lose so much because she tried to be a good person and all she has known is pain throughout her life... Someone asked me the other day if I believed in god and for the first time I honestly and with no hesitation said no. I don't think a god would allow a world with so much suffering exist. If there is a god and he allows this to occur then I want nothing to do with him. People say good things come to good people.. well that might be true in some cases where it worked out for others but the sad truth is for some people they are not so fortunate. I can no longer look at the world with open and optimistic eyes when all I can see is a nightmare. Maybe thats what growing up is, you lose your sense of optimism which is replaced with pessimism. I hate the fact that I am losing my friends and everything I believed in, the fact that I can't seem to save this other person. I don't know what to do to anymore, everything just seems wrong and pointless...

Manovertree Manovertree
18-21, M
3 Responses Jun 17, 2007

Fight back. Never accept.

You'll look back on this story on a good day and realise that it's cynicsm we aquire as we age, not pessimism. Just because we can loose things in life doesn't mean we hadn't got a lot out of them when we did experience them. Count your blessings.

Think of it this way. You aren't losing anything, you're life's just changing. Things come and go, and that's a part of life. Life's about suffering, it's not about having a party all the time. Just live with it. We all go through this phase in our lives, and it's your turn. Just accept it with open arms, and don't let it phase you, because before you know it, everything will be fine and dandy again. Sure it wont be the same as it was, but that's because as our lives change, we change, and the world around us changes. Just learn to accept that, that's just a part of life. I know you'll miss the good things, but that's because it's just time to move on to something else. Hang in there. It'll get better, and I know you've probably heard that before, but life is what you make of it.