I finally had the courage to get help. 3 weeks in hospital and I see improvement. Maybe it is just the drugs talking, but whatever it is, I feel better. Happier.

Not to long ago, I went to some groups. One to help with Anxiety, and one to just talk to others like me and help each other with challenges they face.

On Wednesday, I showed up for my anxiety group. I was too anxious to sit where the others were, so I stood. After a while I noticed someone looking at me. Every time I looked over to her, she would look down and smile. I was so confused. It all just seemed so surreal.

A few weeks went by and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I knew I liked girls long before this encounter. I hoped that I would see her again. I swore to myself that if I ever did, I would go talk to her. I was horrified, but I knew I had to, in order to be able to be at peace.

On August 19th, at around 5:50pm I sat waiting for my "Teen Talk" group. I was nervous. I sat just talking to one of my friends, I met from that group. Suddenly, everything stopped, my heart began pounding, I remembered the promise I had made myself. The girl I couldn't stop thinking about just happened to show up.

I needed an excuse to leave. I don't like admitting when I like someone, and I hate the word "crush" it sounds so sappy. I leaned over to my friend who I will call Julia, and asked her if she knew that girl.

"What girl?" She shouted looking around.

I might have even blushed, although that happens rarely. It took a while, but I finally decided not to waste my opportunity. I convinced Julia to come with me as we grabbed magazines, and sat next to the girl.

"Hi," I looked over.

"Hi," The beautiful girl replied.

I had only seen her from afar, but up close she looked amazing. I could now see her facial features, they were perfect. She clearly didn't recognize me but I knew it was her. I could have dropped dead, maybe from a heart attack or maybe from lack of oxygen. "I'm Claire," I whispered.

"Jenna," she replied.

After having a short conversation she had to go meet with her councillor, I wanted her number. I wanted to ask, but I couldn't. I choked.

I looked her up on Facebook, seeing if maybe I knew anyone she did. Turns out, yep I did.

I talked to Gabby, asking endless questions about her. Turns out she dated one of the worst guys in her school. A total man-*****. He even tried to date me. I said yes but dumped him right away, making him shut up. To make matters worse, he was dating Gabby, who had no time for anyone but him. Of course I was mad, and I still am. I didn't know what else to do. I decided to rant on here, to clear my mind.

If you read to the end. Thank-you. I know it was a long rant. Leave a comment if you would like. I am open to any suggestions or advice anyone has. Please take note that I changed everyones name in this story, mainly for my anxiety, but also for confidentiality. I hope you enjoyed. Thanks again. <3
NiennaG125 NiennaG125
13-15, F
Aug 20, 2014