Am I Insane?
I was trying to delete it from my mind, not remember it but I simply cannot. Something makes me think about it all the time. This little thought.
Last weekend at my best friend’s wedding I caught up with many of my friends I haven’t seen in years. Years ago we were one big crazy bunch and could not live without each other. So it was so wonderful to see them all and talk to them, have fun together again. Although everybody is a bit older, bit different the connection between us stayed the same.
There is one thing though that does not allow me to put my mind at peace. I learned that they all are already married, having their babies, living their happy lives at suburbs with their wives/husbands.
I feel they all have moved up to the next level, grown up. It is sad they turned into the I-have-a baby-cannot-have-fun-tonight kind of people. I try not to feel sorry for them. I know I am not being politically correct by saying this and I know how it sounds, but this is how I feel.
I feel like I have missed one ring of life chain. I guess I have just skipped the part where people want to get married and to have children. I was pressured by my family, my boyfriend’s family, my boyfriend himself, almost everybody to get married some time ago. I felt I was paddling against the stream but now I am so glad I stood my ground and did not say “yes”.
I can imagine that trying to be a good parent is a hard work. But three hour long conversation about nappies and babies’ poo’s at the wedding is a tad too much for me! I am happy I am not tied down with all this crap.
This makes me wonder maybe I should want to have all those things I do not like having to think about even. Everybody else seems to be happy with it so what is wrong with me?