I Dont Know Anymore

As I lay here within this dark room..my mind wanders through a maze of lost hopes and dreams..Everything lost....Coldness consumes my heart my soul....Empty...Desperate to find something to rekindle the fire within....Searching....Longing....But what is it that I desire....Where is my smile..where is the laughter that i once had...the never ending maze...no where to run...no where to hide...caught in a vacuum..no sound not anything....what is there to find with this void...emotionless.....the maze i follow is strange...no walls to follow...no light by which to see..how do i find my way with no path to follow...my mind racing at a stand still..my heart beats but doesnt move...all i see is empty darkness....sensory deprivation...how can i only feel the numbness when there is no feeling...no ceiling which to rise above.....no floor which to sink lower than....tumbling motionless..where does is begin...where does it end...is this my destiny...do i tumble forever more..
SingleDad40 SingleDad40
46-50, M
4 Responses Feb 18, 2012

Call it what you will, but there is this part of you – an innate wisdom, if you will – that has tried and tried and tried to get you to stop and fix a part of you that broke a long time ago but you've told yourself that you either don't have enough money, don't have enough time, don't have enough courage, don't have enough faith, don't have enough conviction, don't have enough belief in yourself, don't have enough love for yourself or any of the thousands of other reasons you've been rattling off to yourself every single day as justification for not stopping and trying to fix that part of you that broke down.<br />
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This innate wisdom inside of you – your other “YOU” – is tired of looking at its reflection in the mirror and seeing a shell, an empty husk.<br />
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“YOU” doesn't want this to be your life anymore but you haven't been listening to him so now, you've left “YOU” with no other recourse but to shut you down – completely. So, in this way, what you're feeling now is the effect of this tool “YOU” is using to get you to STOP! and do anything and everything in your power to fix “YOU”.<br />
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“YOU” is on strike :)<br />
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The point is, listen to “YOU”. “YOU” has shut you down – and will keep you shut down – until you give “YOU” the life it so desperately wants. It's tired of hearing your rationalizations, your excuses - “YOU” wants no more of it!<br />
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The only way you'll make peace with “YOU” is by doing exactly what he wants :)<br />
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The wonderful thing is that, in the process of finally obeying “YOU”, you'll slowly feel MORE energy, MORE passion, MORE intelligence, MORE wisdom, MORE peace and MORE happiness, until one day, “YOU” has decided to turn you back on and has freed you from Depression.<br />
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Listen to “YOU”. Start now! :)

Wow...very insightful...Thank you very much....

You're very, very welcome. I hope it helps you find your way back to the light :)

Well written<br />
Is how I feel now

Been there...still trying to climb out of that place!!!

Is seems like an impossible task

i completely understand how you feel.