I am lost like an abandoned puppy on the side of the road with big sad eyes I'm just looking for a bit of warmth for this chill I feel in me . Everyday it seems like my heart grows colder and colder , my veins fill with ice .. I no longer feel like a human . I am no longer me , I am nothing but an empty shell of a girl that is long gone . A girl who has lost herself in a drug induced state . I lost myself to the high a long time ago and there is no hope in recovering who I once was .

Sometimes I think back on my life and it's a true miracle that I'm actually alive , then I begin to wonder why am I alive .. why did I survive all the trials and tribulations ?? Why couldn't I have just faded away like the rest who was with walking through the same bullshit as I was ?? I don't want this life . This isn't my life, this isn't me !!! I am not Augusta anymore , Augusta is gone ...
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
6 Responses Aug 16, 2014

Hi imperfectbeauty
be kind to yourself. You are a survivor.
Best wishes
:)

Sweetie you're not lost, just a little misplaced for now is all ♡ the you that you remember is still there, you just need a little help understanding how to get back to where you once where is all. ♡
You'll know when you're ready to head back into the right direction.
Hugs sweetie and I'm here for you if you need me ♡

Sorry for your pain sweetie.

This is very sad. You are a fool for drugs - the water that is drowning you. But there is hope while you still breathe. You recognise that you are lost and that is the first step to getting out of this cycle of drugs crap. It's a mug's game.
Why did I survive? you say. Maybe to give hope to others when they hear your story - that despite all the horrendous
things that you have been through, you were strong and pulled through, lived to tell your story... You will do that, won't you? Be the change you want to see.

Funky thing is that Augusta is still there. Probably doesn't like what she's seein'. Whatcha gonna do about that? Anything?

The cool thing about life is if you lose yourself you always have the option to change it and reinvent yourself .