I Am Angry With My Dad

  Because he wasn't able to find it deep down in his heart to forgive me for all the emotional pain that I had caused him. Two weeks ago, my husband and I flew all the way out back east,. We live out west so it was a very long trip. When we arrived there my parents and my brother were very happy to see us. I had not seen my brother in 27 years. And we had not seem my parents in 2 years since they came out to visit us. I wasn't planing on telling my parents how I felt, but it all began with my brother who was having problems with his ex-wife. Apparently my brother is hoping to get full custody for his 13-year old son, because his son's mother slapped him across the face. I don't know how that had anything to do with me. My Dad then bought up the subject of when he and my mother came to visit us in Victoria and I didn't answer the door.  Several years ago, I had told my mother that I didn't want to be apart of the family any more. They didn't seem to understand, because 7 months later they showed up on my door step. I did speak to my mother, but then years later when my Dad knocked on my front door I didn't answer the door. When we saw them just 2 weeks ago, I tried to apologize for my inappropriate behaviour, but my Dad wasn't able to forgive me. Instead he said don't worry we won't be bothering you again,    

 an update.....We received an email from my Dad. I felt not too surprised, but in the email he expressed his feelings. And his seem to blame me for continuing to harbour a deep rooted anger and resentment towards my mother, but he didn't see that he was responsible too. He couldn't admit to being an absent father, because that would mean he wasn't a good parent and didn't have good parenting skills. I think they both failed as parents. My Dad talked about me not expressing any concern about his failing health, but I didn't think he wanted to talk about his health. My Dad has been battling cancer for 16 years now. And when he was first diagnosed they only gave him 5 years to live. It was also his birthday when we had the heated argument  He also wrote hopefully I will find it in my own interpretation of happiness in knowing that we will trouble her no more.

 Then finally he added, my relationship with my brother which started this thing which my long held resentment and feelings of anger which to this day remains incomprehensible to us...        
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1 Response Sep 25, 2012

So sorry to hear all this. Hope it's behind you.