In Love With Co-worker

I first saw her over 1 year ago, we both work for a large corporation. Our eyes met, I saw her a few times after that, but only said hello and that was it. Two months ago we started to talk, I call and email her everyday now, but our relationship is still platonic. I'm not sure how she feels about me, she told me when we first met she has a boyfriend, I have very strong feelings for her, in fact I think about her constantly. I think she knows how I feel, but she has not said anything. I am married but my wife and I just live under the same roof, we have two children. I think my friend has similar feelings. She knows I am married, but i think she is afraid of getting hurt, I just want to be around her all the time, I just want to tell her I love her, but I am scared I will lose her.

john51 john51
56-60, M
4 Responses Sep 16, 2009

well, you know we men are only allowed to kiss the feminists butts on this subject. So be it. Far from me to argue with any woman, they always win anyway. Me,I just stay faithful and kiss butt. Say, doesnt that make me a coward? Oh well.

I think you fail to understand that you are not able to have or give any kind of real happiness if your primary role and commitment has been compromised by a lack of integrity. This is not uncommon. But it is SERIOUS.<br />
<br />
Your emotions are real and have their place, but you are not an animal without any damn sense or control over your thoughts and actions. Just as these feelings are real to you, so are those of the women involved with you at this juncture. <br />
<br />
So, choose to have integrity and do what you know you need to. Realize the opportunity you have here to help both women reach their bliss, when you could've just been selfish and knotted them both up in excruciating confusion and emotional anguish. You are the man with the control in this scene, it seems. Avoid the one until you have resolved your obligations to her predecessor. Nothing good can come of insulting the honor of 2 women at the same time. Trust that, even if they don't understand their own mistakes (or misguidings!), they will never end up happy with a man who couldn't decide, who couldn't declare, who couldn't deliver.<br />
<br />
Do your wife the respect of telling her the truth and either leaving or getting help to repair the broken marriage. Deal with the other hotness later, out of self-respect for your own mental and spiritual health, for god's sake.<br />
<br />
You have nothing to offer either woman until you are man enough to deal properly with each. And honestly, until then, you really don't deserve either one (sorry).<br />
<br />

but i see u are married - WHY U JUST DON'T KEEP AWAY <br />
WHY U DON'T RESPECT YOUR WIFE FIRST - and if you don't like her - but look for other women - <br />
WHAT ARE U<br />
A<br />
COWARD<br />

rofl - in my personal life i have had 150+ cowardly men like you <br />
who either (in the best) - keep away <br />
or - in the worst - only come to cause problems because they are in 3rd grade