I am just now coming to terms with the fact, I am a transgendered woman. Which in an of itself is not a big deal. But what is, is the fact I married to an awesome woman , with two incredible daughters . So the questions is how do I still be the husband to my wife, and father to my girls that I want to be, and become the woman I am. This has me so torn and confused.
DawnR59 DawnR59
56-60, T
7 Responses Aug 18, 2014

Dawn.... I know it's been some time since you posted this. I hope all is well. As with the comments down below, it would be difficult to be all those to your family.. and still be the woman you want to be. As with most TG women, becoming the woman they are inside, may cause great losses in your life, including your family. There is no real way to gage how this will go for you. Some families, spouses will be supportive.. and adapt.. others not. I guess you'll have to decide what's important for you.. keeping your family.... or living as the woman you are inside. It's not an easy choice. I hope all is well with you and that you can find some happiness with your choice(s). Thank you for sharing this with us. You know that you are not alone.

It is best, initially to show who you are most comfortable at. Lie, be forgetful of your previous statements, CAUGHT OUT! You will then never be forgiven despite whatever relationships laid before. xox

Hugs for your courage to admit this -- and begin acting on those feelings and dreams. You will feel even more love once you become a confident fulltime woman than you are as a conflicted and unfulfilled male.

Just be yourself hun; the saying goes. 'Honesty is the best policy.' xox

This isn't an easy question to answer. As another EP member commented, you have to follow your heart. You are still the same person regardless if you're male or female. Does your wife know? Perhaps the first step is having a heart to heart with her when you're ready. Be prepared to explain what exactly it is and how you're feeling (remember all the research you did?) and expect her to need some time to process it all (just like you did). When she gets through those steps you will hopefully have some support from her and it will bring both of you closer.

This is a question I constantly ask myself and I am sure many more EP members do as well. I think each situation is deferent but I think we have to be true to ourselves first before we can be anything to anyone else. Being transgendered isn't something contagious that we caught from someone else. It isn't something we picked up at grocery or hardware store. It is who we are. Something we were born with an something will die with. How we live with it is the only choice we get to make on the issue. Just like all the other issues in our lives that we must deal with we have to consider how it will affect those closest to us and make a choice on what is best for everyone involved. Communication and understanding will play a big part in your decision but it is your heart that will tell you what you must do. With the deep concern you show here in your post for, as you say, "an awesome wife, and two incredible daughters", I am willing to bet you will all be able to work this out just fine. You may be surprised just how much they already know about you from being around you for so long. I think the answer to your question "So how do I still be the husband to my wife, and father to my girls that I want to be, and become the woman I am." is to just be yourself and follow your heart.

I wish I had some sage advice for you but all I can offer is to wish you health and happiness. I hope you find someone to help and support you.