Maybe Its Me, How Do I Know?I have been in a relationship for 5+ years and we got married this past year. Our relationship is a mess. I love him more than anything in the world. I love my husband. I want to fix out relationship and im sure Im not a 100% innocent party here but I only see my side of this so here it is?
He is quick to anger and seems to live in his own world. Although he knows I cannot stand being cussed at he very often calls me bnames anyways... not just little ones... ***** ****.... those ones. I feel like Im breaking into a million pieces everytime he calls me a nasty name. I grew up abused and just want treated like a human by someone someday. Once in our relationship he drunk and hit me. I called the police. He said he didnt remember it and says that im exadgeratin gthe details but Im not. He said hes sorry "if he did those things" and that he wont ever do it again. I tried to put it behind me but everytime he gets mad he gets angry and reminds me that hes bigger than me, by getting in my space. He says things like "If your so afraid of me then why do you get me mad" like I have any control over how angry he lets himslef get.
We do have sex but not when we are fighting. We seldom go 3 days without him angry and yelling so its less often than I would like but I dont want him touching me if thats all I am.
I work part time and go to college full time. When we disagree he often says "why dont you leave?" He likes to remind me that I dont make any money right now and that our house we just bought together is HIS, not mine, and that a judge wouldnt give it to me. I used to have a fulltime job but he convinced me that I should focus on school full time, but now it seems like its a tool to control me, not a caring decision ba
I keep our house very clean, laundry done, We have children, but none together. I do homework with our children. Cook all our meals even make him his plate each night. Im not controlling I try to make him happy by supporting him when he wants to do something that will make him happy like bowling with the guys and cards or watching the game, buying a new gun, tv, electronic junk, whatever. I just want him to be happy. Im not lazy, I even put up fenceposts on our farm when needed. I dontknow what wrong with me to make me still not good enough for his respect!!!!!!!!!!!