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Being Alone In Your Marriage Feels Like Being A Houseplant

That's exactly how I feel. Because you don't bother to ask a houseplant how it feels, if it needs anything, if it wants to talk, if anything's wrong. You just make sure you give it the bare minimum of what it needs to survive, and if it dies, oh well, you weren't that attached anyway.

This is how I feel in my marriage. When we were first together, my husband and I were deeply in love, we liked to do things together and we had a healthy physical relationship. Marriage for four years has seemed to destroy that.

There is now a wall between us and I feel so alone that I might as well be the houseplant. I get a moment of attention when he thinks about it, and then I'm expected to go back to being by myself until he decides to grace me with his adoration for another two minutes before returning to his world of online gaming and watching movies.

We have not had physical relations in a year, and though my appearance has not changed, he told me it's because I'm hideous, and absolutely not his type any more. I am a burden to him, but he's not willing to ask for a divorce because he can't stand to be the bad guy.

I know he's doing his best to push me away, to make me be the one to ask for the divorce. I have even left, and returned on promises that things will change. But I was a fool. Houseplants are idiots, right?

Truthfully, I don't even feel like if I were a plant I would get a sunny window. Because sun indicates warmth and light, and there's none of that left in my relationship.

I am so alone in my marriage.
Minaarchangel Minaarchangel 26-30, F 9 Responses Oct 3, 2012

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girl I feel your story me too are like that sometimes. but a plant is important in a house u give oxygen to breathe . don't mind him if all plant will die most place will be polluted

I'm sorry , but when I read what your wrote makes me sad , I'm lonely to but we have to do something , fix it not live like this
Anyway I hope things get better wish to you all happens

Wow. U get it too! Thanks for sharing. I hope things are better........ For you.

I know exactly how that feels. My SO constantly denigrates me in front of our kids. It seems like I can do anything right (I am absolutely serious about this). I have been told that every bad thing that has ever happened in years prior has been absolutely my fault. I supposedly kept her getting a job. Or how I do everything good for myself and supposedly never think about them (her and our children). She doesn't work. I do the dishes, the laundary, even sometimes the cooking. I drop off my daughter to school, pick her up from school. I even work from home.

The worse thing is that there is total lack of sex at for the last four years (big zero) and I could probably count on my hands and toes how many times we have been intimate in the last 16years. And I have never stopped her when she was in the mood. I believe some ppl of zero or no libido at all.

So now I find my self looking to others maybe a way out. I want to exit but too afraid of the financial mess I will be in and the emotional effects that it will have on our children.

things won't change-people really don't change, they compromise-you have compromised too much and you're far too young to live in a loveless marriage yet alone be ignored. Divorce him-you seem like a intelligent, thoughtful person. It doesn't matter what you look like, you will find someone who will appreciate you for who you are. Perhaps you fell in love and didn't have your eyes open when you agreed to marry your husband-but enough is enough-it seems like you have suffered enough. write back and let me know some good news.
-howard718

You have some choices to make. You cannot make someone care for you. You can stay and accept what is going on, or you can take the bull by the horn and leave the situation. Trust me I have been there for the past 10 yrs

I feel for you and I know just how you feel. My husband spends all of his free time on the laptop either playing games or looking at camera reviews, on his xbox or out with "his mates". we've been married for 7 years and haven't had any sexual contact in over 5 years and if I'm lucky I might get the occassional hug. But the hugs are generally only given if I stoop so low to actually ask for them.

I broke my ankle 4 and a half weeks ago so am still in plaster until mid November, its my 32nd birthday tomorrow and he is currently away for the weekend on a lads weekend away, won't be back until late tomorrow, so right now I feel really loved. I can't even get out and about to entertain myself.

i feel for you......a house plant is better description than a rug.....that's how i feel sometimes...it's easy to advice to leave but in reality it's really hard especially if you have kids to consider...hard to step forward to a new beginning..i tried to go and like you i came back because of the promises and my heart tells me so..now I'm still here taking it all but seeing things in a positive way and making my self stronger for the future..everything happen has a reason,i believe in this....time might come for us to separate ways..well when that time comes i am strong enough to take it cause I'm well prepared...as of now i have my own business(i was a plain house rug before)i keep on saving personally and for the kids....gaining my self confidence again..i want someday to let him see that i am the best he got but wasted...i hope this help..

I know this feeling. If you know he does not want you, then why stay? Why be with a man who gives you no love and affection? I'm not one to talk, but I don't want him anymore, so in that sense it does not hurt me now. What hurts is not having love and all that goes with it, and being alone, but if you can leave, then leave, and don't waste more time. It goes to fast.