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Too Many Years

I have been married 15 years. Known him since I was 15. we do not have sex and tonight, I believe he does not love me anymore. not all his fault, but not all mine.
just not happy. at all
Neerod65 Neerod65 46-50, F 8 Responses Oct 6, 2012

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I hear that! I am devastated my wife kicked me out and it's been 2 months but in reality we haven't loved each other for the last few years. I always thought we could work things out, especially when we dug ourselves out of debt. She felt differently. I mostly hate saying I am divorced, well soon to be.

I guess I miss being married and normal more than I miss my wife. Is that wrong or messed up? That was a breakthrough when I realized this. It helped me get through the nights better.

I just assumed what I had was what I was supposed to have in life- three wonderful sons and a marriage that went downhill for the last 17 of 29 years. Sex? Once since my last son and he's almost 18. I tried now and then to make it better but she didn't try at all. Why'd I stay? Because I wanted to be with my kids and you learn to adapt to the circumstances. I've recently filed for divorce because I finally realized that I wasn't going to finish out my time on earth unhappy. Weigh your options.

Why did your wife stay if she didn't try at all? My wife kept trying up until she quit and found someone else, then filed.

It might have been because I did all the cooking, cleaning, dr. appts, day care and school picks ups, etc. She worked, came home and plopped down on her bed which I called the "command center." Her hobby was spending every last dime we had and more. I am so happy now, to be free of that, and knowing what's in my checking account is secure. Clearly, I was an enabler and I feel I need counseling to get past that. I was just trying to keep the peace but I should have been more assertive when things started going off the rails.

Wow, did I need to hear that. I kept my factory job because I could pick the kids up from school, feed them dinner and make sure their homework is done, do the the laundry and clean the house while my wife was working 80hours a week and never even bothered to look how little she was making at it. In her defense, the company did screw her over bad and really made it difficult to figure out how much you were actually making. It was in sales and expense reports that would be partially paid was a great way to disguise amounts.

I am not an enabler but way to passive, and her a control freak who is bad with money. I will be much happier also when this nightmare is over and I can sit down in my own place, whatever I find and call it mine and have some free time and spending money again!

It sounds as if you need some kind of change. I would advise marital counseling but you would both have to be agreeable to it. If you do not have sex I wonder how each of you satisfies themselves. It is also possible there is some kind of medical issue that could be addressed. No matter what your happiness is out there and your job is to find whether it is with him or someone else or simply some other activity.

Gads, I know that feeling. I litterally can count on my hands and toes how many time we have had sex in 16 years. And the last four has been zero. To say the least I am going bonkers without and quite seriously looking else where. I can't get out, she has control of the finances. I get screamed at if I even spend one dollar. I get berated daily, had life threatened on several occasions (even happened in front of my sister).

And yet I feel like a heel if I end up leaving which I am seriously thinking about. I worry about the emotional effects that it will have on all of us. And I worry about the stories that I have read on how it isn't better or causes worse problems.

In my mind I think having an affair is some relief especially if I can find someone that is looking for a similar relief and intimacy. Maybe it's a fantasy.

But right now this is fustrating and lonely.

sounds like me.but sadly mine left me in sept and i am depressed very painful
yes i did feel lonely with him his mind was always in space this has affected me really badly... what will you do

i m ready to sex with u r u?

I have been married for a while and the sex has gone down hill. You need to figure out for your self what you want and discuss it. If he rejects it then you have to figure out what it better. This is no easy process but there are many posts here you can read to help you along.

Probably God doesn't give people that thing 100% in this/one life which is the dream/weakness of the person. Truly feeling a bit good/happy as EP has taken a project to make connections among same mentality of people or the persons having same craving!! Lets explore our self to make our dreams/desires come true!! Well, what to say I'm an open minded fun/sex loving guy but leaving almost sexless marriage life. To me sex is an art & I'm a good artist. I'm having high sex drive and also a bit choosy on sexual matter...!! I'm also comfortable with all aged groups (women, matured women, girls) provided the partner is friendly and wild in the bed. I'm looking for a true "****-buddy" but relationship status with me have to be a friend only. Sex can be made colorful but not at the cost of privacy and secrecy. If any one is sex loving decent female she who wants to enjoy heavenly taste of secret sex as a true friend then pls don't shy/hesitate to knock me!!