Married And Alone Because Of Medical CircumstancesBelieve me I am happily married and have been for many years. Unfortunately my wife has cancer and the prognosis does not look very good. She has been fighting now for close to 3 years. As you can imagine she does not feel sexy at all and does not even want to be touched.
I, on the other hand still have needs that I want satisfied. I went onto the web and found sites that offered unencumbered sex, but could not bring myself to follow through. Even though I really felt the need for sex there was something that stopped me. I cannot explain it to myself. I always thought that it would be easy to take a lover, but for me it was not.
The result is obvious, I have to take care of myself and I really battled. I have turned to urethral sounding and I still feel as if I am cheating. How do I explain this to myself.
I suppose if I knew somebody for a while and got comfortable with the idea of sleeping with them I might be able to. What also concerns me is if I would be able to come to the party as such. I do not know. I would not consider paying for sex as it would have no feeling for me. Maybe in my mind I have linked love and sex together and this has created a barrier for me.
At the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is hurt my wife, but I still have needs. This sounds crazy to me but that is reality for me. Am I normal?