Wake Up Call Explains Loneliness

I have done many stupid things - #1: got involved with husband on the rebound; #2: Took the problems on myself as it was my fault and responsible to fix; 3#: take marriageas a "commitment; 4# continue to try to find a silver lining in this rotten situation.  I am ready to throw in the towel - husband is not capable of a loving, responsible relationship anymore. He created it by his own choice- alcohol and drugs! 10+ yrs of his abusing alcohol and drugs, and abusing me has hit its toll. I can't do it anymore, the loneliness, depression, stress, heartbreak, etc. is just too much.  I keep trying to be positive, but every morning I start my day with getting up and facing him, and the reminders of all he's destroyed. I can't get pass it. I even tried "Fireproof"s - the love Dare" -- and I can't get past day 1 of patience!

brokenwing97 brokenwing97
56-60, F
7 Responses May 17, 2009

the teuth is just because you love does not mean you need to stay....he will never stop until he is sober......think more about yourself he will be finr...but willl you.....

This is what happens with most of the women,they trust in a man u dont love them but they wont trust a man who can love more and can satisfy them,even i am strugling to be the most loving one,if u think that i can satify u call me and chat with me if feel so i can fullfil my no is 09160113578

You are not alone. Your story sounds so similar to mine. I am sorry you are going through this. I am sorry that I and your other commenters are going through this. I really thought I was alone in my problems before I found this site. I don't want to say I'm glad that other people have the same problems that I do - I wouldn't wish them on anybody. But I am glad to have found this site and people that can relate to me.

I agree who wants people to join piti parties but I do agree with you that it helps to try and get some type of understanding because when your alone crying doing whatever you say why me? but joining this site you see it's not just me and you can find strength in numbers either to learn, stay, leave or go but either way it could be helpful to talk to someone who understands. today is my first day and relating to husbands as well as wives have made me feel a little better about being left alone on a Saturday night.

Is this the way of the world......Alcohol and drugs! 27 yrs married 14 yrs of his abusing alcohol and drugs, and abusing me. I legally separated him for 2 yrs and lived alone. I took the house , then lost my job. Uggg :( <br />
I feel he manipulated his way back in by saying he was better and 2 yrs clean and wanted to come back home. Well hell, it has been a yr last month and I can not believe I put myself through that again. I was doing so well and now I feel I have to start from scratch. I am sorting and boxing as well as looking for stable employment because I am done. I can move on and maybe one day find that special someone. If not I am okay with me.

Many times we make wrong decisions and even stick to them for a long time defending our decisions even though we know it was wrong.<br />
But when we get faced with the facts one day and have to make a choice, we forget the strength we showed in persevering in a bad situation. <br />
Use that strength to turn things around. Not all men are bad and besides. Nothing says you have to have a husband.<br />
Good luck, my thoughts are with you

sorry to hear you are unhappy...but sounds like you are very much over him and on the road to f87king him off and starting a brand new happy life !<br />

i met my husband on the rebound of my first marriage, too. I was very stupid. I should have walked the other way when I found out he was on Federal Parole, but I didn't. I was pretty much alone even in the beginning. After work he would bar hop and take drugs, wouldn't come home until the next day, he slept and went back to work. There never was love in either of my marriages. I guess I just didn't want to be alone. I am leaving him though which is good. I hope that I will find a man that truly loves me and that I can love back.