My Wife Just Found Out I'm Gay
I have always known I had an attraction to other men. When I was a boy I didn't really think about it as being gay. When I was in college and it was very strong, I just didn't think of being gay as a lifestyle option was a choice for me. I graduated college, got my first job, fell in love (with a woman) and was married. The thoughts of other men never went away. Sometimes they were almost uncontrollable and other times I kept them in the background. About 13 years ago my wife and I separated and I had my first adult homosexual experience. It was profound but scary and, again, I didn't want to travel that road. We reconciled and have been together since. Several times in these last years, I have had brief experiences with other men. Last month, my wife discovered some things on my computer and confronted me. I decided it was time to be honest with her and poured out all the things I'd kept hidden from her during our married life and that I am convinced that I am gay.
Needless to say, it has caused tremendous stress in our marriage. She is kind and forgiving and we love each other deeply but we don't know what to do with this new reality. I've joined EP as a result of looking for people with shared experience for both her and I to talk to.