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Stuck

I've been living a double life for 7 months. Met a girl, fell in love and the rest has been told.

My double life caught up to me, wife found out and have been confronted. She doesn't want a divorce, but she doesn't trust me. We don't love each other anymore, but we're married for the sake of our child and finances. Every night since this confrontation has been a mix of emotions. I'm really depressed and she knows why, I'm in love with another woman. The other woman will not speak to me now. She knew about my shaky marriage and told her everything. The thing she never wanted was to be the cause of breaking us up. She wanted no responsibility. My wife keeps asking, who is it, what's her name, I want to see her and every little detail, but I can't give those details...

I'm stuck, feel very hopeless at the moment. I'm forced to live in this situation due to the overwhelming guilt for how badly I hurt my wife. Can you fall back in love? How can this be imposed? I'm a prisoner to her now. She's tracking my every move and constantly needs to know what I'm doing and where I'm going. I can't run to my GF, as she is devastated by all this. I'm constantly reminded of the threat that she will take my child and move away if I don't obey her. Very stuck and confused...

confuzedman confuzedman 31-35 5 Responses Dec 8, 2011

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you nedd to apologize and yes you can fall inlove again anything is possible do not doubt

Good luck my friend. As you know I too am in a similar situation as you. Though I decided to move out, and have been so far for about a week now. Got my own apartment and separated my accounts etc. So far its not as bad as I thought. But as you know it hits you from time to time. Being without the kids, and yes sometimes it hits me being without my wife. <br />
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I've worked out a schedule to be with my kids, and I've worked out a payment plan for child support. Its not easy, but it can be done. <br />
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I will give you an update as time goes on. Remember do whats right for you not whats right for everyone else, with the right plan everything else will take care of itself. <br />
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Take care.

thanks dudetime, you've been great support! happy you are figuring things out.

Forlorn said it best. You need to do what is best for you. It doesn't sound like the marriage is the best situation for anyone. Everything happens for a reason. If you are doing this to be with your GF, is she going to still be with you? If you didn't have a GF would you still want a divorce? These are a few questions you need to ask yourself to find the truth about what you need to do. I wish you the best.

I have to agree with forlorn....I've always said that just because a marriage remains intact does not make it successful...and from what you have said...doesn't sound like your marriage has much of a chance at becoming vibrant again. Sometimes it is best to just place the period and move on...accepting that things in life happen and knowing that better things lie ahead. I hope you find everything in life you are looking for.

I forget the exact quote, but I read somewhere that Johnny Depp said that if you are with someone, but you fall in love with someone else, you weren't properly in love with the first person to start with. I dunno, part of me agrees.

I like that and sounds true. I'll be honest, love my wife as the mother of our child, cannot stand her as a person.