My Best Friend Since Middle School.

I am 22 and have been married for 6 months. my husband and i have a son who is 15 months old. I should probably start from the beginning.

My friend tj and i have been friends since middle school. 10 years to be exact. we were really close, did everything together. when ever i had a lame party he was always the one person i could count on to come. i developed feelings for him a year after meeting him. i never told him in fear i would make him feel awekward and lose him as a friend. we even decided to go to a private school together. but after i transfered out of the school our friendship distanced.

after a year of im ing eachother everyday we started to hang out. then a year went by without communication. through all the transitions we have gone through, we always come back to each other, even if it is once a year.

recently i have had many dreams about him, in them, we are together. i woke up one night looked at my husband and then decided the dream was more important. after much consideration i emailed him. we got together fordrinks the same night. that night we went to alexandria and spent the night together at my friend felicia's boyfriends house. we didn't do anything. we talked about our lives,our past relationships and what we want out of life. it was like we were 12 again having a slumber party. we talked until 4am and went to bed. i drove him home that morning and we texted later in the day.

Now, i had my son with my husband after six months of knowing him when we weren't together. we didn't get together until he was born. then my husband decided to go into the military so i eitherhad to marry him or have him sign over his rights. since rights are almost impossible to get back in a timely mannor, i reluctantly married him. he is a wonderful husband and an amazing father, he has done anything and everything for me and that is why i am in the position i am in. i know i should feel guilty about how i feel, but i dont. i feel like i am cold hearted. but at the same time i feel empty. my husband is my friend and thats how i view him. any advice or stories??
septemberslove septemberslove
22-25, F
Sep 24, 2012