I am A God fearing woman, but right now I am so confused. I have been married for 18 years. My husband has beat me, cheated on me and put me threw hell. I have a daughter that's 22 from my first and only love but he is a lot older than I am. He left me and I never stopped thinking about him. He recently came back into our lives, his daughters and I. I thought I would be over him shot is been almost 23 years, but I am still so in love with him. My husband hadn't worked in 5 years we have not had sex in ten years. He says he doesn't love me but he won't give me a divorce. We have three children together. Now I know adultery is wrong but I still love my oldest daughters dad and he still loves me. I don't know what to do. I have tried to save my marriage many times but now that my true love had come back what do I do? How do I get free without hurting anyone? The only thing good about my marriage is the three wonderful children we have other than that there is nothing there but he days I am his property and he will never leave me. Yet he had a baby from another woman while we were married. I truely don't want to go to hell, but I also don't want to lose my true love again. Please what should I do? What would be acceptable in God's eyes?
Sweetestrose Sweetestrose
41-45, F
6 Responses Aug 18, 2014

From a straight bibilical sense lusting after the ex is already a sin so that ship has sailed. More practically, if your current relationship really is as bad as you say then you need to get yourself and your kids out of there. As for the ex, that really doesn't sound like all that healthy a landing spot.

Do whatever you need to do to get out of this marriage and then you will find happiness. God will NOT condemn you for doing something that is right!!

I didn't think you would fall for me so quickly

Unless you live in Saudi Arabia, nobody has to give you a divorce. You can get one whether he likes it or not; although, it may be slightly harder and more time consuming to do.

You're not going to go to hell for leaving an abusive and loveless marriage (period), and you shouldn't let your fear dictate your happiness. It's time for you to take control of your life and sever yourself from the grasps of this guy--yesterday if possible.

In other words, you need to get out of this marriage immediately, and seek a competent family law attorney ASAP. Right now, don't worry about the logistics--they will only cause you further despair and delay. Know that everything will be okay, but that they will get harder before they get better. But, it's time to stop talking and do. Take control.

Depending on what state you reside, you could have substantiate marital and property rights. So, again, seek competent legal counsel immediately. Move into a family members house. If you're worried about being ashamed: Don't be! He's an abuser (period).

Best of luck :)

It isn't what god will find acceptable, it's what will make you happy. follow your heart or you'll regret it sooner or later. Sounds like your husband is a jerk too :/

Follow your heart and go with who you love. We are dead a long time and it is better to regret something you have done than something you haven't. And who would want to believe in, let alone tolerate a god who created us 'sick' (allegedly) and commands us to be well?