I have been with my kids father for over 14 years and I have been in love with Another man for over ten years. My husband found out and did a 360 to Try to make our Relationship better and I love him for that , however I'm in love with someone else . I can't stop thinking about him and when Im with him he completes me. I sometimes catch myself wishing upon a star that my relationship will fail just so we can be together. Time after time I wonder how things would be if I just take the chance and be with my secret lover. Is it selfish to love 2 ? IS it selfish to break up my kids happy home ? I have it all . But I want to be with my lover. Our sex is amazing and I know we are in love , we both feel it ... He will drop whoever , whatever fast to be with me. I picture myself walking down the isle with this man . What are your thoughts and does anyone feel this way . ??!
Rosebella14 Rosebella14
1 Response Dec 16, 2014

I am also in a similar situation. I have been married for 23 years to a wonderful man. Yes. I love him but I am in love with my exboyfriend, my highschool love. I have always thought of him and always wondered "what if??"
I recently reconnected with my ex and I am more confused than ever. Damn he looks good. I feel so guilty about how I feel but if my ex were to want to reconnect I would seriously accept!! I would never want to break up two marriages and we both have children but I would so do the whole "broke back mountain" senerio. (Having our secret get togethers but keeping our lives as is... Hoping no one gets hurt). Yes, I know the were gay but the love story is the same. LOL!
That is how I imagine having the best of both.
I have not acted on anything and I am so not the cheating type. I am actually shocked to be in this situation. I feel so guilty for having these feelings and for fantasizing about him all these years but I live my life feeling like I should have been his wife. If I only waited... If only... If only. Why did let him go????
Regret is a *****.
I don't want to hurt anyone nor do I know if he feels the same. Everytime we email each other I just melt inside. I secretly hope for him to say something, anything to indicate that he misses me too and yet I am terrified because I don't want to hurt anyone.
Oh God help me.
What did you do???? I am in too deep and I know I should stop contact knowing how I feel but I really don't want to!!!!