Need Someone To Talk To

Hey everyone,

I have been married for 3 years to who i thought was my best friend. However my husband and i have been together for 10 years and we have 3 beautiful daughters. I am unhappy to the point where i just don't know if i can continue living the way things are. I know there is a very thin line between love and hate, and at this point i can't even say if i am in love anymore, But i know i don't ever want to hate him. For the past few years things have been getting to the point where all he does is fuss and blame me for everything that goes wrong in our life. I know i love him but its so unhealthy for our daughters to see him treat me this way. I try to talk to him and tell him my feelings but he just doesn't hear me or care or even both. He is never home and stays gone at the shop practically all night, then turns around and goes to work all day. He says he does all of this for us, but if he would just listen to me he would know i want him, not all the finer things in life.  I know about  a girl who keeps running after him but i don't know if he has cheated. I confronted him about it and he said he doesn't know what i am talking about. I feel trapped at times and i don't thin i can keep living this way. I need more then what i am getting but i love him please tell me what should i do???? Sometimes I feel like i am wasting my life on a guy who pretends to love me but really doesn't. I give my all just to get nothing but rudeness and put downs in return, and just when i get myself to a point where i have made up my mind and i want a divorce he pulls me back. I wish he would change but in my heart i don't feel it will ever happen. I am scared because i know i need affection and if he continues to act and treat me this way i know i will look for love somewhere else and i wouldn't be able to sleep with that on my conscience, i despise adultery and i believe in the bonds and vows we took before God. I want my marriage to work, and I love him with my whole heart. I guess that is why this hurts so bad. How do i turn my feeling off and move on?? please help me Hopeless in Mississippi!!!

Brokennlonely Brokennlonely
26-30, F
5 Responses Feb 16, 2010

there are so many feeling in u heart about u r husband ,and u r husband missing the moon while counting the stars ,when ever he realise it he will be back to u ,my advise to u wait for him ,one day he will understand u and need u so keep patient ,never think of divorce ,because divorce will affect's on u r daugther's too ,but of course open the doors for some one too enter in u r life so that u can upgrade u r happyness make personal relation if u need and consantrate on u r daugther's grow up byebye

I know how u feel, Ive only been married for 1 1/2 years but together for nearly 5 with 2 kids. My husband is very similar, recently he quit his job because he said he would change if he didnt have a stressful job. Now he sits on his ps3 all day. All I ask is for a little help with the kids or just to clean dishes once a day and he says im selfish. He never shows affection and never says I love you. When I try and talk to him he blams everything on me and says shut up :(. I tried to leave but he threatens me or says he will leave on the streets, I cant let him do that. I want to leave but I am scared because I care for him. My kids deserve better, but my parents to are divorced and I never wanted that for us. I know he wont change but I wish he would. Is it to late :( im not strong enough to leave.

This sounds very much like my situation, and I think there is definitly some emotional abuse here, the way he puts you down,and then when you have had enough he reels you back in,believe me Im going thru exactly that, but I don't think Im going to be reeled back in this time....Have you or your husband seeked out any counseling? If this is emotional abuse I can tell you from experience (I have been married 24yrs) it will only get worse and the longer you stay without him changing the less self esteem you will have and the harder it will be to leave!

a marriage without communication is like going to a job you hate everyday because you have to pay the bills somehow. Both of you have to be willing to hear eachother. I know this sounds so basic and simple, but I cannot even begin to tell you how many marriages end just because of this, has to be around 70%. Are you really as open to him as you are here? I think you are. Love is not just some word we say because someone says it first. Have you told him that you don't feel loved by him? It's a very strong question, I know. Loves comes from our eyes, touch and the little things we do, just because it makes us feel good. have you tried communicating through letters. Some people have difficulty expressing things verbally. Maybe if you each write a list called the reasons why I love you and fill them out honestly and exchange them. I know this sounds silly, but try it. You sound like a great woman, I wish you the very best of luck. When is the last time you guys had a date night? just the two of you. Maybe something quiet, romantic, <br />
mkaybe a dinner by the ocean. if you enjoy car rides, maybe a long road trip just the two of you. Its hard to avoid conversation when your going 60 miles an hour down the road. Hope this helps

You will never be happy with anything else in life without starting the happiness within yourself. If this marriage is based on only being the right thing to do, and not on love, why sacrifice your all when you know you can do better. It's time to stop and start doing you. I hope everything is well and that you have made the decision of a lifetime.