Married But In Love With Someone Else

I got married to someone lovely and kind and sweet 5 and 1/2 years ago. I was lonely and sad at the time and I knew my heart would be safe with him and

it has been.

The only problem is im not in love with him and i know deep down that i never have been. At the beggining i did manage to convince myself i was in love

because i was happy but it didnt last.

Two years after getting married i realised that something crucial was missing...Love. I didnt go looking for it but Love has a way of finding us eventually.

I finally met someone after being married for four years, i tried to fight it and ignored him as much as i could but in the end I was overwhelmed by my

feelings and began a realtionship which is where it all started to get a bit tricky!

My husband found out because his good friend and best man at our wedding lives nextdoor to my boyfriend ooops.

My husband asked me to stop the affair and i said i didnt want too and i wanted to break up. So he left.

I called my lover who promptly told me it was over between me and him. I w.as absolutley heartbroken i didnt expect that as he had encouraged me to

leave my husband.

My husband begged to come back and i let him because i was so low emotionally.

My lover came back to me after about 2mths saying sorry and he was scared blah blah my husband said he would accept that i had a lover as long as i didnt leave him.

I took my boyfriend back but was too afraid to leave my husband again so now I am kind of with both of them but i dont want to be I just want my boyfriend really and i love him deeply.But i am very scared that he will hurt me again.

This is just the tip of the iceberg really but if anyone else has a similar experience i would like to know about it......

peacheypie peacheypie
31-35, F
Feb 21, 2010