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Lonely In New Jersey

I am a married 52 year old in central NJ, I  have been married for 24 years and love my wife.  We have 2 teenagers.

Ten years ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, she underwent a lumpectomy and had to receive chemo and radiation therapy.  Thank God she was ok! It has been 10 years snow and she is cancer-free!!

What did happen was because of the treatment she had early menopause, which is very common.  This happened about 5 years ago, since then sex has become very painful for her.  We have tried numerous solutions and have gone to see many doctors but they all say the same thing.  Without Hormone Replacemt Therapy she will continue to experience pain.  This has led us to a sexless marriage.  She does not enjoy oral and so we live celebate.

I have given up trying to come up with new ideas.

Now I am online looking for a woman who is not looking for a relationship but wants a friend with benefits and it is very difficult.

I am a really nice guy who is not looking to leave his wife. 

If anyone can give me an idea that will not cost me 50 dollars a month to join some stupid dating site I am up for ideas.
randy58usa randy58usa 51-55, M 3 Responses May 21, 2010

Your Response


I am a 56 years old married man from new jersey. I have a simaler experience. I am married for 30 years now and have 3 grown kids. My wife was dignoused with MS 5 years ago. Since then our life just stopped all i do everyday is work and come home to takecare of my wife. By the way I bleive to my hart mariaged is to death I love my wife and cannot see her sufer more than she already has God please help her help us I know what are you going through any ideas?

I am trying to deal with his problems as best I can. I wish there was a easy answer. There really isn't. I get so worn out from working and going home to work even more. I am ready for some happiness in my life. I hope you can find some happiness too. Hang in there, there has to be some kind of reward for us in the end. Best wishes!

I feel your pain. I have been married for almost 36 years now. My husband has developed lots of health issues that has made our life difficult. He has so many things wrong with him it would take me all day to list them. The most difficult ones are he has arthritis throughout most of his body and can barely walk. He is bent over real bad and his body pretty much stays in this position. He can't even lay on his back. He also suffers from diabetes which he refused to stick to the diets the doctors put him on. So now he has ED. Our marriage has been sexless for over 6 years now. He has got to the point where he won't even touch me anymore. It has been so long since I have been hugged I forgot what it feels like. We have been to all kinds of specialists and they all say their is nothing more they can do. I have good days and I have bad days. I have four children of which three are grown up and I also have a fourteen year old still at home. My children and grandchildren pretty much keep me going. Otherwise I would probably just give up. I hope you find what you are looking for and your situation doesn't get this bad. There are lots of out here that are in the same situation. It is sad but there are friends out here on EP that are willing to chat and listen. It does help. Good luck to you.

Hi teri58
God bless you

Thank you so much! God bless you too! I think we deserve it!

Try its a free online dating site...Im sorry to hear about your wife, my father is going through the battle himself...livestrong.