Self Diagnoses

I've been living common-law with the same women for 21 years. We have a lovely teenage daughter who will be leaving us to go to university soon.
Life has been very routine, and my partner seems to prefer it that way.  I've lost touch with all of my friends from before I met my partner, and my life feels like I'm just stuck on repeat.
I went to see a doctor and was diagnosed with depression, but after years of self evalulation I realize it is not depression at all. The problem is I'm lonely. I work in a very isolated environment with no chance to meet other people, and the only friends I have at home are my partners friends (quite reserved people, who think it's a sin to talk about ones feelings).
About a year ago, my partner meet another neighbour and she started hanging out with us. I was happy about this, as this person was full of life, and I began to feel my life turning about... however my parnter noticed how happy I while this neighbour was around and quickly became jealous, so needless to say that friendship did not last very long.
So I'm back to where I was before, but feeling even worse, having had a taste of what life should be.
I am fortunate to had found one friend to chat with on FB, but she's 3000 miles away. I wish there was someone close that I could hang out with.. not a lot of organized groups in the community we live in.
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Jul 16, 2010

i can relate to this feeling of being on repeat. Its so frustrating not being able to have your partner understand that you need company ouitside the relationship. And it can be even harder if your shy about making friends of your own. I believe men and women can be just friends. Could it be perhaps your relationship is not what it used to be? Do you long to be apart from her to experience new things on your own? Sometimes we get stuck in a rotuine, even when it does not make us content. Evaluate if ur partner truly makes you happy, or if maybe its time to go your seperate ways, now that your daughter is off to the university.

Im sorry to hear your so lonely..I know the feeling...im slowly learning to be independent and not wait for him..so.then..we just mostly go our separate ways its ok..for now...you have to try n make your own friends n not depend on her..she either comes along..or she doesnt