I Married A Really Nice Guy...

I love my husband. I usually love my life. But he and I are completely opposite when it comes to romance, feelings, and especially sex. Until I met my husband, I was a very sexual person. I loved sex and was completely un-abandoned when it came to intimacy. Unfortunately, my husband is the total opposite. He loves me, and I love him. But he doesn't know how to show it through intimacy, and sex is just never on his mind. I asked him last year if he thought he could become the lover I want in my life, and to my surprise, he said yes. But that hasn't happened. We have sex once every couple of months, which is just not satisfactory. It makes me feel unwanted and undesirable. He completely underestimates my beauty, intelligence, and soul. I just want so much more.
hedoesntgetmeinct hedoesntgetmeinct
36-40, F
3 Responses Jul 30, 2010

I don't know, Lost. I don't really believe that love can conquer all and that everything can be resolved if we love each other. I am beginning to realize that perhaps he is totally incapable of understanding the complexity and wonder that is ME. He has no clue what I want, even when I tell him. We have not had sex since we talked, since I wrote him a 4 page letter spilling my heart out to him (that's on another post)..... and he hasn't even tried to be physically close to me in any way. <br />
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And Elmer.......at this point, sex every couple of months would be an improvement.

It is good that you have love. All problems can be resolved, as long as you love each other. But the problems must be dealt with, not ignored. He needs to realize what you are missing, what you need. And if he loves you, he will find a way for you to be happy. Good luck to you, and have a great day.

Thanks for feeling my pain! It is a little different for us, we do still hold hands a lot and give little pecks during the day. We hug a lot, at random times, like at the grocery store, which is always so nice. But that is the extent. I just need and want so much more. The last time we had sex was January. And when we have sex it isn't fun or intimate. It's boring. He doesn't like "spice", so that is out of the picture. It is nice that our lives are comfortable, but I want comfortable AND intimate. <br />
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Have you talked about this with your wife?