Lonely Married ManI think I can help some of you ladies. I will let you know what is in my head, and it might be in your husband’s head as well.
I have been married for 10 years and have 3 young kids. I love my wife, but she doesn’t treat me well. She is not mean. She just ignores me and my needs. Most people love her. She is a nice person, just not always nice to me. I am a very nice person.
With 3 young kids and a demanding job, I am very dependent on her to take care of me. As an example, I will ask her what our schedule is like on a weekend, and she will have me doing things for the kids and for her all weekend, so that I won’t even get an hour off to myself to go exercise. I don’t do it because I am whipped. I do it because she puts me in the position of doing it or disappointing the kids and I love them very much and don’t want to do that.
If I try to talk about it to her, I do so seeking help from her, not accusing her. But she gets defensive and turns it on me. It’s been going on long enough now that I don’t really talk to her at all.
I’m not as interested in sex with her as I used to be. I think she knows it and is a little hurt by it. I’m too hurt and have been too hurt for too long. I look at ****. I hate it and I hate myself for doing it. But I feel so lonely and it is nice to at least fantasize about a woman being interested in me. There is nothing I want more than to be back in love with my life. But I can’t until she starts showing some consideration for me. And she won’t because she doesn’t listen to me. She is more interested in figuring out who is to blame (and making sure that it is me) than she is in solving the problem.
I won’t divorce her or cheat on her. I love my kids too much to hurt or disappoint them. If she acted like this when we were dating, there wouldn’t have been a second date.