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I Am Married But Lonely

It's Not Supposed To Be This Way

By: Carissimi
Written on October 16th, 2011
It's being bereft of love , intimacy, affection, connection, trust, joy and hope. Without these things there is nothing. Just existing.
Sometimes I think loneliness in a marriage may be worse than loneliness being single and alone, but I'm not sure, so I stay. Maybe it's a case of "better the devil you know." It's a sad thing to be with someone, and feel soul destroying loneliness.
By: Carissimi
Age: 51-55 , Female
873 people have read this story

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11 responses
  • loneone6969
    loneone6969

    You are so right. If you are with someone yet feel lonely, it's torture. When you are single at least you can look for hook ups.

    Oct 3, 2012
    1 like
    • Carissimi
      Carissimi

      I am single except for a legal document, and even without that I would not be looking for hook-ups, as you call it.

      Oct 3, 2012
      1 like
  • 1OHD
    1OHD

    Yes, it is really sad, and an emotion I share with you.

    Oct 3, 2012
    2 likes
  • LLadynyc
    LLadynyc

    I have asked myself many times which is worst "loneliness in a marriage" or "loneliness being single and alone". It is not a matter of money, arguments,self esteem, or afraid I will not find someone to fall madly in love with me, but it is for my daughter.



    One will never guess that I am lonely, it is the perception I give out all that time that I am a happy contended person. But, deep down inside I yearn to be loved.



    Carrie Bradshaw in "Sex in the City" final episode said it best....I want to be in love, know someone loves you, someone cares enough to care about you...and the list goes on...



    Bottom line, You are not alone!

    Nov 8, 2011
    1 like
    • Carissimi
      Carissimi

      Thank you for your comments. I wish you well.

      Nov 8, 2011
      1 like
  • Efour
    Efour

    I have also been through what you are experiencing. This quote helped to bring me out of my self inflicted doldrum. "Enjoy Life! This is not a rehearsal."

    Nov 7, 2011
    1 like
    • Carissimi
      Carissimi

      I'm glad it helped you. I wouldn't call soul destroying loneliness "doldrums" that term seems to tame for what many of us feel on here.

      Nov 7, 2011
      1 like
  • rknst74
    rknst74

    You are 100% correct it feels much lonelier when you are under the same roof than it does when you are alone in a house.I am so sorry for what you live with,if you ever feel like talking please msg me,my name is Rob.

    Oct 26, 2011
    1 like
  • tmm58
    tmm58

    I have a great deal compassion for you, as I am familiar with that pain. I am in a similar situation, married 20 years it is hard to understand "why" or some of the cause of no intimacy. It is very hard when a person cannot be intimate with hugs, kisses and physical touch. My heart goes out to you.

    Oct 21, 2011
    1 like
  • Crusher69
    Crusher69

    ...I supose we life with the hope that maybe it will improve.....and that it is not that bad, or as you say....being on your own should be much worse. So we just go along with it and suddnely a few years go by, and a few more. It becomes a habit, we are reluctant to change or there is fear of social stigma. At the end of the day it is up to us to determine our future.....



    Good luck and keep smiling :)

    Oct 16, 2011
    1 like