I Need You, But You're Not ThereYet another night of feeling alone. Why do I feel as though I love him more than he loves me? I just want to be touched and loved. I DON'T get him at all. Most men think I'm attractive, and plenty have told me they would love to be with me. He just seems to take me for granted...as though he's looking right through me. I understand we've been married over 20 years, but I've never desired anyone but him. Sometimes I wish I did or could. Him on the other hand....I don't know if he's had a physical relationship with another woman, but I do suspect it. I know he's sexted with a woman from work, and that they kissed. He admitted to the kiss. Everything else I found out on my own. He even told her he loved her....what a ****...YET he says he doesn't love her and never did. He was just having fun. It's always been me, and that if he didn't love me he wouldn't be here. WTF?? I have never denied him sex....unless I was just dead dog sick. Are you kidding me...I take it when I can get it. I've always had an extremely strong sex drive, but not him. He doesn't have enough sex for me let alone another woman. That's why I never thought he'd fool around. Was I ever wrong! Oh...and he did the profiles on the married websites thing, too....a few years ago. Again...WTF?? I'm rambling I think, but it ****** me off that he said part of the reason was that he wasn't getting enough attention or feeling appreciation. AND he would like me to be more aggressive....After years of rejection sexually, I just quit trying to be aggressive. A girl can only take so much.
Why did he enjoy the sex talk with her and yet he doesn't with me? Am I not supposed to be a little slutty every now and then. It's fun when it's another woman, but not his wife, as if I'm held to a higher standard or something....
I would have loved for him to reach for me tonight. Ugh....this just sucks!
I AM SOOOOO CONFUSED!!!