I Would Like A Man's Opinion....

Attraction & engagement.. keeping a guy's interest.. actually pretty easy!

Keep the tease.. (the best part of fantasy) always going on.. a little leg.. dressing provocatively. Even the occasional firt with other men.. can be a huge turn on!

In seeing other men desire you.. or changing your dress slightly..
you get to have him look at you in a different way!
(and sometimes.. that's all it takes)

It might even make you feel sexier too~

He sounds selfish. Find something to do to excite him and show him it interest you too. Something like the open marriage idea should be a good start. Asking him to take you to a swingers club would be another on to open up a discussion.

As I read and reread your over all question and the one thing you want his clients get. I had thought of a mountain of things I could go into and the bottom line all that was over thinking the issue.



The way I see it is to become his client. You won't be nagging and because he "Only Has So Much To Give" then it would not be out side his 'so much to give' because you are now at the work place where he invests all of this "So Much To Give". He will see you on a different level and just maybe eye to eye.



I see everything to gain here. Become his client plain and simple. He will have to Pay Attention to you or wonder if he screws up just how much could he lose if he loses you as a client. Anyway, this is food for thought. I really can't say more with out more information. Like what the hell does he do that he can't bring some of it home from the office.



I do have a few other thoughts in these areas that will get his attention, but more data is needed.

Oh I SO IDENTIFY with this problem! I've tried the talking, writting letters, but what is the point when they don't get read? Ugh I don't know what to do either... I have intrest, hobbies, etc. but none of that fills the emotional void I feel from the lack of emotional intimacy between my Husband & I. :(

I felt this loneliness 3 weeks into the marriage - having friends and going back to school has helped a great deal but the void of emotional intimacy has remained for 32 years now - we are separated now but starting over at this point does not seem the sensible thing to do.

Just a thought: because you are alone a lot of the day (and you are naturally sociable?) you want to talk when he comes home. He is being sociable all day (perhaps contrary to his natural temperament?) and needs some quiet. Understanding does not solve our problems but can help us to bear them gracefully whilst seeking a resolution.

I'm not here to make you feel bad or anything like that, I'm here to offer what may be some useful words and I hope you take it that way.



Are you asking about getting him to talk to you, talk with you or get him to listen to you? There are somewhat blurry distinctions on this matter that kind of require different paths for each one of them.



I assume that you truly meant to get him to talk to you (although I suspect it is something different which is why I asked those questions). If this is so, the next question I'll ponder is what is it that he likes to talk about? What is it that brings up his energy and interest?



Going over these questions may help you a bit.



I also agree with Difum's comment (although the delivery may be different) even if such comment is more on the line of having your husband to listen to you. Sometimes, one is not quite ready to get the message you verbalize orally and then it does not reach the right place or taken the right way. However, when it is in written form and can be processed when one is ready to take it, it becomes a more effective message.

Kris, write him a letter. Be straightforward and honest but don't be judgemental. Let him know how much you love him and value him but that there are problems inside your marriage, and tell him what those problems are. Send the letter, certified return receipt, to him at his office. I've seen this work. Good luck. I pray you peace.

It may be due to individual ego coming on your ways and hurting your relationship. Just sit down and talk to him what you feel and what could I do to improve our relationship. Giving and taking flexibility of each other may work for you. All the best :)

you should make new friends