Looking For Love

hello, i am a married (but separated man) 40 years old .
Who is currently a mess!! brokenhearted and  lost!

my wife of 13 years is having an affair and now says she love s her new man more than me.
Finding it very difficult to cope. The truth is i love with all my heart , and i just want someone in my life who will feel the same.

For all of those years together i have been a worker , and a house husband.I look after the kids all girls 16 , 17 and 8 . 17 and 8 are blood mine and the 16 is mine by love and being her dad for 13 years. (her real dad has no contact). I am Dad and i love being Dad. I do all the shopping, all the cooking 90% of the housework, taking the dog out i pretty much run the house, my wife works long hours ( now i'm not so sure how much of that has been work though).

My wife says i am too good for her, i even prepare a meal (nice bit of seared ahi tuna on a bed of lettuce with taboule salad and some roasted asparagus! was just one i remember) and the drive to her office at night ( sometimes... actually quite regular) with a glass of wine .
And surprise her at the door with food order for you my lady!  ( this before i knew of the affair) 

She also says i'm very handsome, and she always enjoys our lovemaking (well i imagine most of the time....nobody's that perfect!)
I asked her what her lover does for her, that i don't ... she couldn't think of anything
Although she said there is one thing he has never done and that's given her an ******.She then said you have never had a problem in that department.
 She paints me out to be amazing..i'm not.. i just try to be a good husband a dad....i still don't know why she does what she does...Don't think she even knows, just a thrill seeker i guess.............Anyway i'm really lost and would love to have someone to love!

I'M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC.. and i  will never change, i enjoy cooking ..long walks and kissing and to please...making a smile makes me smile.

I would love to hear from anyone out there looking for love or even just a friend!   ...thanks for reading  :)
Englishgent1970 Englishgent1970
36-40, M
6 Responses Mar 29, 2012

I hope you find a wonderful woman who appreciates you for who you are. It definitely sounds like you deserve it!! I know I am not happy in my marriage because my husband does not show emotion or affection and I am a very warm and loving person.....complete opposite. I try but nothing seems to do move him. You are lucky because now you have a second chance at love. Seek and you shall find! I wish I had enough courage to leave my spouse!

I am happy for you Englishgent, not because you are no longer with your wife but because you no longer have to provide a true love to someone who hurts you in return, even though she might not mean to. Let's face it, you may be a dream come true to most of us who'd read your account of how your treat her with all your attentions, big and small but it isn't what she seeks or you'd know it already. I hope you and her can remain good parents and that you will quickly find the woman or women (it takes time to find the right one) who will heal your wounds.
When that happens and you can let go of the past, it will be A-MA-ZING.

I'd like to have give a shout out here and call on all the ladies who appreciate a domestic man, living father and attentive lover / husband.


I am a woman in the same boat and just want someone warm and loving in my life.

it is tough i know....eventually it will get better ... x

Is not appreciated when you have too much of a good thing

yes i realise that now i was too good , did too much !, i hope one day my wife will see exactly what she has lost !

Thanks so much, it means alot to know how others understand how we are feeling,<br />
He knows he's been stupid, even offered to quit his job! Think this was just a knee jerk reaction! Could not possibly do it, in the end though she has handed her notice in! This is still all new to me, only found out 5 weeks ago!<br />
How are you now? Is it getting any better? <br />
Thanks for your support x

Just read your story, my heart goes out to you, you sound a wonderful dad and husband, sometimes spouses go off the rails for no particular reason, it's nothing you have done or not done, it's just them and their own feelings! I work but only part time and majority of my time is like you being a mum, housewife, and a great wife! I feel I am reasonably attractive ( often told good looking), not bad figure yet my hubby of 20 yrs had an affair with a 50 yr old divorced x3 times work colleague who is really ugly!! He works away alot, long hours, very stressful demanding job and he said it just happened on a trip away, she understood him and work pressures!!<br />
He also had a one night stand 10 yrs ago!! Feel utterly betrayed and keep obsessing about it, pics constantly in my head!!<br />
Hope you find true love again as you sound a special person and deserve to be happy x

thankyou Ginny, I more than most totally understand how you feel. I am constantly obsessing too.It's like a bad bloody dream that just won't go away!
I cannot get any respite from my thoughts as i believe so do you. I hope and pray for both of us to find at least some form of normality again soon.....you sound like a lovely person too, and although i don't know him, your husband sounds like a fool! if you ever need a friend you have just found one in me! feel free to email or anything if you just need an ear to listen x x