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Feeling Down And Lonely

Im new here and never done this before so gonna try to get to my story.I have been married for 9 years now and have 3 kids,they are my life.About 2 years ago I confessed to my husband I wasn't happy and we talked and he said he will try to change and I felt good about the talk we had .But it didn't last long he went back to ignoring me , he would get home from work and eat and straight to watch tv or on the computer doing work. I would sit next to him and I would kiss him and hug him and he did was nothing just sit their and let me do everything but wouldn't react to my touch or hints , so I would just leave and go take shower and cry. I felt lonely unattractive and just all by myself. Then one day I downloaded an app on mu phone that was chatting with people and I used it took pics not nude pics just pics of me and got a lot of guys sending me messages I loved the attention , i felt so wanted . This went on for couple months, I met someone their that I feel for we would txt all night talking about our day our feelings and just he filled the void I had he would make me smile everyday I would wake up ans think of him and just made me smile a lot. Then my husband caught me txting and was mad we yelled and he wanted me gone . Then we cooled down and talked I told him why i did it becuase he wasn't giving me any attention .I cook ,clean,take care of the kids. We almost end it he was leaving it up to but he admits the wait was killing him so i told him he has to change he has to give me once an awhile a one on one time. I don't have anyone to talk to no friends I spend all my day at home I dont go out only as family . I need someone to talk to and all he says is I understand I'm sorry i have to leave work at work and give u my full attention and says he knows its hard for me being home with the kids all day and no one to talk to . So i felt better we starteconnecting again he would say u look pretty today i missed u and i love u . But now were back to that again he gets home and eats and busy on his phone or computer and I'm just their standing not even hi how's it going , I know maybe i should tell him the same but lately I've been feeling a weird vibe maybe its just me but I don't know I feel like he doesn't really want to be around me .He goes to sleep first than me he says hes tired and if i tell him kids are asleep now give me few minutes of ur time , he starts to tell me u know if u wake up early like i do then u be asleep also I can't attend to u all the time.so i don't know what to do I'm feeling sad lonely crying every night .I just want him to acknowlege me once in awhile I don't know why he doesn't he says he knows and his sorry but yet when I tell him about it he gets mad at me, I'm never right with him he's always right . Sorry so long I needed to vent also, I think he might be done with me, I love him and appreciate all he's done but im hurting .
brknheart1101 brknheart1101 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 8, 2012

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OMG! I know how you feel. I too am going thru the same thing, but my husband is very defensive. I can't get him to just pay a little attention to me. I just wanna cry. I have caught him talking to women on FB...inbox messages...he swears it's nothing. He says I am the one with the problem. It's so lonely and he makes me crazy because he puts it all on me. Forget about sex. We don't have it. I don't know where to go from here. I feel so lost! Don't know where to start.

Look at his web history and see what he does on the computer all night.

Usually he's not on the computer when he is I can see what hes doing , mostly on his phone hes on and i cant see that.

Hmmm....either he is hiding that he is gay or he is cheating on you. It all sounds kind of weird.

I dont know what to make of it either , he always brings the kids to it like if i want to get intimate he says the kids r gonna wake up ,before it would never stop now I dont know why hes worried so much about it .I know he's not gay , cheating i dont see him doing that but never know .I'm very emotional as im typing this im about almost in tears.